Ekebergia capensis

10 Ekebergia capensis

Number: 65547.07.
Series: Hydrogen, Carbon, Silicon, Iron series; emphasis on Iron series.
Clades: Cucurbitaceae; Cucurbitales; Fabidae; Fabanae; Angiospermae.
Series: Silver series of Silver series.
Clades: Meliaceae; Sapindales; Malvidae.
Phase: 4; Subphase: 7.
Stage: 7.

Introduction
They feel as if there is no place for them, no place in the family, no place in society. They feel left out, send away. They have a tendency to leave, to emigrate and start a new life.
They can have a conflict in the family due to differences in attitude and education. A child can be intelligent but coming from simple parents, wanting to become a priest or doctor and leaving home to study. He can feel that normal is not enough for him. His parents feel left alone, not understanding the motivations and thought world of their child.
On the other hand there is a strong tendency to help and support each other, to be present. They feel they have to stand together and help each other in order to survive in the strange and maybe hostile environment. Often communication is difficult as there is a difference in orientation, a misunderstanding.

Mind
Staring, absent minded, buried in his own thought, not attentive to the state of others.
Indecisive, from wanting to comfort and help the others.
Feeling small, > in a small room.
Stuck, emotionally lost.
Feeling not completely belonging, although being welcome.
Emigrants helping each other in a foreign country.
People who did not find their destination.
People who hide their subtleties, even in communication.
People who do not do what they want.
Those who live up to the expectations of their family or class.
Someone who left a group and because of that others falter; one of two develops, the other does not.
People are dependent on one another; problem starts with the one who is bound to leave.
Remedy for?
People not daring to and feeling guilty when leave home out of fear others would fail when he leaves.
People depend on each other too much.
Communication breaks down as soon as one leaves or even is meant to leave.
Out of false togetherness.
Image: a chair with three legs, standing firmly; when one of these three legs becomes weak, the chair, the system crumbles and crashes.
Problems ameliorate when they stand for themselves, on solid ground; when everyone in the family does his duties and has his rights which are of equal importance.
Ailments from lack of courage, self pity.

Body
Back: backache.

Discussion
Having no place or home, trying to find a place, accepting a small one, like home, giving shelter.
Self pity, sad, quiet, feeling very sorry, alone, because I had lost my son.
Problems from emigration, having left the culture.
Silent, not communicative, not expressing one's wishes, feeling misunderstood, neglected.
Need to stand together, stay together with people form the same background and culture for support; feeling worse when alone, leaving the group.
It is like a stool with three legs, just enough to stand firmly, crumbling and crashing when one leg is gone.
Desire to lean against each other, unable to stand for yourself, on solid ground.

Analysis
Silver series: emigration.
Subphase 7: losing, out of contact; all kinds of loss; emigrants; ex-pats.
Meliaceae: father leaving family with handicapped child?
Stage 7: together, support; stable; helping, standing together.

Proving
Trituration proving, 6-10-2012, Kenton on Sea.

The proving started in finding a place to do the proving. We were looking for different kind of places and there was ‘no place for us’. The dining room was taken by others even and we were not welcome. We felt banned there.
Prover 3 felt insecure how and where we could find a place. He wanted to do a proving with Prover 2 and with this ‘plant’. Everybody was doing something else and we were left. Only later Prover 13 joined them.

At last we decided for the house of Prover 2, which was small. Prover 2 said to his wife to do another proving with another plant with more colours and that would be good for her.
Prover 2 looks at the plant. It’s a tree with tiny flowers, big leaves. You do not see the flowers, and it’s therefore a difficult one because it’s not easy to see. It has beauty but does not show. It is a steady one, a strong one. The principle destination is not to make beautiful flowers. It’s more useful, rendering itself to be of some use.
Prover 3 feels ‘touchy’ inside, almost crying and afraid to mention it because Prover 2 said it is strong. Then you could better keep silent because you doubt whether it is relevant.
Prover 3: “Whatever I do with the scraping is maybe of no use… and I interrupted you, Prover 2 ”.
Prover 2: “When you feel small there is a method to ease this state: go to a small place, then you do not feel small anymore.”
Prover 3: “But I am still small, you are not in this state. I feel a bit lost.
Prover 13 came later and enters; is a bit silent, gives place.

Prover 15 also enters a little later and preferred at first to stay outside: it’s more light there.
Coming in he tells us that he was afraid that the plant would be left over.
Prover 13 had a different start of the proving: he had to do a lot of things, afterwards would join. Then: OK, I’m late, when I came to the table where the plants were selected, nobody was there. But when Prover 3 came to me with the plant he instantly felt friendly and positive: the leaves are close and it’s eager to flower. Prover 13 also had a fear of being left out.
Proving 15 still attends and tells he was also feeling lost a little in the morning.
Prover 2: The plant is friendly, it offers to be useful.
ALL PROVERS REALISE THEY DON’T KNOW THE NAME OF THE PLANT, NEITHER OF THEM.
Prover 13: The flowers smell like Jasmine, they are also protected on a harmonious way by the leaves.
Prover 2: Easily disturbed, find a place which fits how I feel. He is afraid of being laughed at to see him do the scraping, especially by the girls, they might think he’s too weak (doing his work very tender).

Prover 2 helps Prover 3 to scrape the pestle clean.
Prover 3: “You are very caring, delicate, female-like”.
Prover 13: “The plant is friendly, lively, although modest in it’s fullness”.
Prover 2: “Let me know if you want something, tea, coffee, banana’s, water, apples…”.
Prover 13: “I wanted to bring banana’s to the proving”.
Prover 3: “Yes, the friendliness is strong. I feel sensitive but strong. I want to be cosy in the right place. I need friendliness to be able to settle down, and Prover 2 is friendly in this place, offering everything that he has. Not as a stable hotel owner, but humble. But I do not yet feel fully ‘grounded”.
Prover 2: “You don’t make almost no sound while triturating… If I would have to stay overnight in the bush it would be so fine to have these leaves on the ground for a bed. So I imagine myself out of this cabin already, out in the green bush.”.
Prover 3: “We are immigrants, I am the wife of Prover 2, we don’t know the people here. We do not have much and have to offer others gently in order to make friends. I have a hope, seeing that nice people will like me/us.” (triturating and scraping delicately).

How does it feel for Prover 13 ? (He is silently attending).
Prover 13: More focused on the outside, staring to the outside. Doesn’t feel insecure (careful puts scraper). “I was busy with other things, I should have called the beekeeper, and I did my laundry, do not really have my time, but still good to go my way. Then the other group came to my house and I noticed they were in the proving already. Wondered then ‘Have they forgotten about me?’ And I was nicely surprised that I was invited by you.”
Prover 2 offers fresh water.

All provers reflect on the beginning of the proving when they were looking for a place.

Prover 13: Somebody from another group was not welcoming us.
Prover 3 (all 3 Provers are male) had felt like a woman from the very beginning, feeling a kind of female nervousness, offering even his bedroom as a place, like Prover 2 offered all he had to offer.
Needs are not great, modest, humble, sensitive.
But, do not take what you do not want! All have a good self-respect. We accepted that it took as long as it took to get settled a little.

Prover 2: When you feel the place is not right to settle down, then it is better to make a hut temporarily.
Prover 13 feels in the country, “Hope I’m not too late, being there in time”.
Prover 2 needed a small place in the beginning, even the leaves of the tree to sleep on, wanted to expand; is stronger now, in a bigger place.
Prover 13: Being out, not knowing where to go or what to do.
Prover 2 wants to go into the woods, to cut trees to build a hut, a wooden house.
Prover 3: “I trust my husband (I feel being his wife), he is strong and courageous.
Prover 13: Feels lost, in a garden, “Where should I go?”.
Prover 3: Also feels the hope to get ‘rooted’. He postpones these feelings. “I rely on my husband, not having my own way.”
“We are kind of pioneers, but we cannot settle. I feel not really insecure, we are strong and self reliant.
Prover 2 asks: “Let’s cut a tree in the wood, need it for several purposes.
Prover 13 and Prover 3 want a place to ‘root’, “we want to get grounded.”.

Prover 2 to Prover 15: “I just needed a small place to feel safe, now it’s time to expand.”
You have to stand together, because Prover 13 has an important function. He went to the temple at the age of 12, left home, is like a nephew to the couple. He is doubting about going back out of homesickness, but likes this area also very much, the nature, the beauty here. He is in the past in his thoughts, thinking of what he had there.

Prover 3: “We at last feel it’s good we can speak about ‘his staring in the green’, because Prover 13 inside decided to come here and work with us. He only needs a clear confirmation he’s welcome”.
Prover 2 has self-pity, because he feels ‘his son’ doesn’t talk to him.
“My self-pity was about having lost my son. Where did I lose him? I did not address him and ask him directly if he felt like going with me to chop some wood. Then my wife (Sarah) gets me out of my self-pity by speaking up to me. She is strong now, which feels good for me. I should have talked to him: Son, I want to tell you that I liked to have you here and that you’ve come to help us! Coming here with us and feeling homeless, it is a part of healing, out of the feeling of being lost”.

We are leaning against each other.
Problem starts as soon as one thinks of leaving.
The solution is to stand together now. Leaving is not an issue anymore.
It is togetherness, staying together.

Prover 13 realises his position in this proving makes him think about his youth. He had 3 older brothers. There was only learning for him, learning was the thing he was supposed to do in the family. Parents were there for supporting a better life by way of learning. Learning is the thing that brings security in life.
Going into spirituality when leaving your family means they will never be able to understand you in the future.

Prover 13 notes
Prover 13: had wanted to finish his things first like laundry, phone calls.
Prover 2: I like this one, looks like a difficult one, held it tight, Prover 3 always to my left side.
Prover 2 offered everything he had, like bananas.
Prover 3 felt like Prover 2’ wife, could not feel different.
Prover 2 said: Does anybody feel like joining me going into the woods to chop wood, we need a larger house.

Prover 13: couple felt being together, but I am not the one who feels like farming; his attention went to something different; Prover 3, “Sarah“, asked him about his back, which touched him, that someone was caring for him; Prover 3 knew he was in a distance, he was longing for something, did not want to impose on him.
Prover 3 felt as husband, Prover 2, being silent.
Prover 2 said he would feel self pity.
Prover 3 now spoke up: do not feel the grudge; forget your anger.
Prover 3 grew into his situation, became a partner!
Then husband and wife no longer leaning against each other, each one stood for himself.
and could let Prover 13 go, to choose his personal life.
Prover 13 thought, living in the woods could help him to grow into his spiritual thing.

Prover 2 notes
Prover 3: bit insecure: goes for his slippers and his glasses.
Prover 15: goes outside, there is more light outside.

Prover 13: was silent.
It gives peace.
A small room fits better, does not make us feel so small.

Prover 3: feels a bit lost; small place you have your things (means: looking for one?).
We were looking for a place.

Prover 15 says, he was afraid the plant would be left over-stimulation.
Prover 13: I had different start (regarding to former provings): had to do a lot of things, afterwards he would join; then (realized) Oh, I am late (when Prover 9 came to the house with his group, then Prover 13 rushed to the table to find fellows, but), no one was at the table any longer, then Prover 3 came with the plant, and „instantly I had a friendly positive feeling“.

The leaves are close, eager to flower.
Felt an irritated spot on the palate yesterday.

Fear of being left out.

Prover 3: feels like the immigrant father’s wife: not knowing people.
You do not have much but offer it to others.
Gentle in order to make friends.
While triturating and scraping gently: I have a hope, seeing nice people like me.

How does that feel for Prover 13?
More focussed on the outside.
The plant itself is gentle.
Puts scraper carefully, not insecure.
Should have called bee-keeper, did my laundry.
Do not have time really.
But (feels) good to go my way.
Then the other group came, I noticed they are in the proving already.
Have they forgotten me? Nicely surprised when we (Prover 3 and 2) came.

Prover 2 had offered fresh (!) water.
Prover 13: Prover 1 was not welcoming us; we would disturb, we would have felt disturbed.
Comment: when we were looking for a place, we came to the main building, where Prover 1 was already working with her group. We asked if we could work in the same room; Prover 1 probably agreed. Nevertheless, we did not feel welcome and or would have felt disturbed, disturbing.

Prover 3 had felt like a woman; he (would have) offered his bed room, like Prover 3. now offered everything he had to offer; the needs are not great, but modest, humble; sensitive, but: do not take what you do not want!
Good self respect!
We thought, we would keep looking for a place, as long as it took.

My self pity was about having lost my son. When did I lose him? When I did not address him, just asked if anybody felt like coming with me to chop wood. (Instead of asking him directly, like.”Son, whatever you will do in your future life, I’d like to show you what I can, what I learnt. So come with me and I teach you how to chop wood and build a house.”).
Then my wife (Sarah) gets me out of the self pity. She is strong now which makes me feel good.

Prover 3: quite homeless when coming here, feeling a bit lost - this is part of a healing.
Prover 2, interpretating the situation of the three provers: we were leaning against each other, so the problem starts as soon as one leaves or thinks of leaving.
Solution: we stand together now, instead of leaning against each other.
So leaving of one is not an issue anymore.
Togetherness is not the same as staying together.
Farewell is no longer a problem.

Prover 3 (tells a story): on a boat with a friend, when the propeller failed to work; while fixing it.
they looked at each other laughing; was a very good experience.

Prover 13: connecting to my life: had 3 older brothers; remembers the silence of the sitting room; there’s only learning for me, learning is what I am supposed to do; parents were there for supporting a better life.
Going into spirituality when leaving your family means they will never be able to understand you in the future: You are not just choosing a slightly different job and settle nearby. (But you are creating a big distance between your life and that of your parents).