Gibbaeum pubescens
Remedy code: 3-663.26.14
Young woman, age 33, complaining of burn out, anxiety. Frequent crying. Dresses as she is as women: charmingly, softly, pastel.
No more energy, after a difficult process with her employer she is now even relieved to be rejected. Think herself she is highly sensitive, and easily bothered by people who are bossy, who criticize her.
I am always busy with 'who is being ugly to me', I feel inferior. When people in a group give signals, I always think they are negative about me. When I visit someone, I have to recover for a week. Feel drained. I want to be liked very much, I am suspicious, even allergic to what they think about me. I feel that there is not full trust towards me, that I don't belong to the group, that I do it wrong again.
When I do have that peace, I am happy, then I can focus on nice things, parties, family, nice people. I need affirmation. That was the reason I had to give up at work every time.
When visiting friends: that gives me tension, then my heart pulse races, I am nauseous, my stomach is tight, no longer having fun.
I don't let things go, they are obsessions. Does a lot of therapy, feels the criticism and vulnerability there too. Too bad as a child I was raised full of scares. Still, I am always on my guard that other people will rat you out, that things can go wrong. I'm afraid of being disrupted in my happiness.
Reads books about the cause of hair complaints on spiritual matters, does meditation.
I feel responsible for my parents, I want to take care of them, that is a search for safety too. But still, the feeling of tension after visiting them stays for a few days.
I am so tired, I am not coming to myself, it does not flow, after sports, it is better, but afterward I have pain at the solar plexus.
I have anxiety to blush, again, just like before, for a whole period already. I am ashamed of it. Feel myself getting hot.
I feel it so strongly when someone rejects me. I am focused on 'everyone has to like me', the more I am on myself, the worse it is. I am very focused on 'who rejects me', my mother had that too.
What am I doing wrong. What is wrong with me. But I can't help it. I want to belong to somewhere.
Analysis
Insecure, not having a place, not being able to build this up: Phase 2.
Many aspects of Phase 6: giving up (let me be rejected) in her work, although she sees it as a life fulfillment, where she seeks in vain appreciation (where the problem was every time: insecure and impressed by colleagues or supervisors).
Problem area, what is important to her, where is her heart and life, what she focuses on: family, parents, so Silicon series, but she is also much concerned with meaning of life, she is alone, familiar with the shadow of life (she has depressive periods s and years) fitting with Gold series. Happiness means: with the family, family events, there she finds security, which is Gold series3.
In the family of Caryophyllidae Phase 2, at the time of this prescription, only Gibaeon was known and placed on stage 14. New casuistry shows other possibilities for the stage. The placement at stage 14, may fit within the feeling given by Phase 6, giving up, on the other hand the powerlessness also fits with Phase 2.
Presciption: Gibbaeon pubescens C200.
Follow up
After six weeks: after taking the remedy, I took up the challenge: I went out shopping, the first time it was too busy, didn't really dare to be myself. That exhausted me, had to recover for a week. It feels then as if my chest area is paralyzed.
The weeks after that it's fine, I still get drained, but it doesn't last a whole week, after a day the unpleasant feeling is over. That day I didn't feel myself, it was like something with my feeling is not there.
No more anxiety because my parents were on vacation. Sleep is better. I dare to go out in the car again. Yesterday my friend collapsed, I feel responsible, I feel always like a mother to others.
I have told the psychologists now that I feel myself, don't feel dependent anymore, and I am going to Phase out all therapy.
Dream I had a cut on my thumb, I had to go to the hospital.
Only once upset as before, thought they were laughing at me, I started doubting myself then. I had that more often, ever since puberty, when my girlfriends didn't want to play with me anymore. It was my own fault, I had bullied someone. Rejection: now that hurts less hard, recovery is faster and better.
After this, she continued to do well for months and looked for other work.
The years before anxieties, not daring to go out the door, not riding a bike or car.
Prescriptions over 5 years, with often slight improvement: oc-s, leon, cerium-nit, stroph-h, myrth-c, samb, hed, camp-r, scand-n, spirae, opun-v, ytt-ox, aran-ix, sel, linum-us, epilobium, sedum-r, sarr, pega, visc, begonia, calc-br.
What remained all these years: her depression and therapy-dependency, easily influenced (by opinions), stuck in fears, running away from ideas. Looking for solutions.