Psychotria poeppigiana

3-665-43.11 Psychotria poeppigiana
Culture: Oscar Wilde.

Introduction
It is like a young wealthy man from England, from established family, maintaining its wealth, coming to Costa Rica on vacation. He needs an adventure, to be brave. He falls in love with a beautiful and exotic woman, without thinking, they have one month in paradise, like soul-mates. His parents found out about it. Doom; it won’t last. He had to decide, whether to stay in paradise or going on maintaining his family’s wealth.
Her family sacrificed her. They wanted him to bring his family’s money, but this he couldn’t, because his family wouldn’t let him. He ended the relationship, went back, feeling guilty. He would carry her in his heart until the rest of his life.

Mind
Song, “running back to you”.
Dark and light.
Attractive, desire to be kissed.
Angel’s hair and wings, purity.
Big, clean, beautiful hands.
Michelangelo’s David.
Prefer money to love.
No love without sacrifice.

Body
Mouth: taste felty, bitter.
Throat vulnerable, offering to the wolf.

3-665-43.11 Psychotria poeppigiana
Proving: trituration proving; Dos Brazos, Costa Rica; 9-3-2016.
Provers: Prover 1 male, 30’s; Prover 2 female, 60’s; Prover 3 female, 50’s.
Report: Gaby & Franz Swoboda.

C1
Feeling of chaos; everyone aimlessly passing one another, if no one wanted to commit to the proving. Prover 1 disappeared into the loo and said „see you in an hour“.
Playing „Bat out of hell“ (song by Meat Loaf). Needed to use book with „Goth there“.
Impatient to assign numbers.
3 …. more beautiful than 1 or 2. more flowery - ….
Prover 1: I have this thing with 13; it keeps appearing in my life. I would ….
I am a sinner before the gates of heaven I‘ll care crawling on back to go.
Prover 3: I love this colour red with a touch of orange.
Prover 1: If I got up and danced I know I‘ll be damned.
Prover 3: I feel lively, active …. it (the substance) looks like blood.
We need our power, we know our power.
Prover 1: Let him belief he is not threatened by her.
Prover 3: With the music I felt more power, put enthusiasm in it. It is not the most beautiful flower; now it opens.
Angels‘ hair flew in.
Prover 1: It has something very angelic.
Prover 3: It opens like wings, come into my arms.
A fly wanted to come into …. being invited.
The invitation?
Lots of things …. (next lines unreadable).
A little bit cotton smell; flies attracted.
Prover 3: They like to go to ….
Prover 2: Three witches in the coven. Numbness seems to be important.
Prover 1: Talked about news today; in Germany a 13y old boy beat his friend to death.
Prover 2: Feels fear.
Prover 1: Feels better than yesterday, grounded.
Prover 3: I don‘t feel fear, I feel strong.
Prover 1: Thinks that the plant looks angel-like (Angelique). Song of birds; apparition (it‘s like - also the birds).
Here I am and all my glory, be it ugly, be it beautiful. You don‘t judge.
Prover 2: I can‘t see your body. I can see only (rest missing). Look how clean our hands are, washed free from all sin.
Prover 3: I don‘t think sin exists.
Prover 2: I think sin exists in the plant at the moment we are washed free of it.
Prover 3 to Prover 2: you felt fear, but I just felt power.
Prover 1: I feel my hands are too big for writing in this book.
Prover 3: Sensation of big hands. Hands are too big. „Am I this person with this type of hands? I‘m not the person I thought with this type of power. I can do something.
We are gently triturating.
Prover 3: Maybe the flies (are) attracted to smell.
Missing the time (normally I‘m …) not so much to do things exactly.
Prover 2 to Prover 1: You have the hands of Michelangelo‘s David.
Prover 3: this plant is not delicate.
Prover 1: it is flying towards me; she is going to kiss me.
Prover 1 and 2: we know she is not a good angel. Yes been waiting for her to miss you.
it‘s not eroticism, it‘s adventurous.
Prover 3: yes, it‘s an adventure.
Prover 1: Where is she flying off to -.
Prover 2: it‘s a sacrifice … would you offer your throat to the wolf with the green eyes?
Would you have the courage to sacrifice?
Prover 1: It looks like a throat, and vulnerable.
Come fly with me; but you are giving up a certain … fruit of yours?? it‘s your decision.
you are sacrificing all the other possibilities.
Prover 3: Maybe you get to know someone; they are going to another country. You stay or go.
2: are they friends you go with.
Prover 3: someone you love, or small group, inviting to do a job somewhere else.
Prover 2: if you don‘t go?
Prover 3: It‘s clear that I go. I left everything behind.
Prover 2: it‘s not an option.
Prover 3: It‘s so strong you got to …. here.
often I don‘t know should I do this or that.
Prover 2: it‘s your destiny.
Prover 3: it‘s so clear, just two flowers.
Prover 2: what‘s the problem? - pause; what‘s the story in this? I feel the story is along the lines of a wealthy young man, very naive, comes to spend his time in a foreign country for some adventure. The adventure is going to a coming to himself. He is destined to take over the wealth … parents have chosen who he will marry; a wealthy cast system; expectation to marry a rich girl from another wealthy family he is trapped by his family; family using him to save their own wealth. He comes to a country that is poor. Attracted by lips and hands and drawn by her he doesn‘t think and comes here and totally enjoys her, his hands are … (sentence unfinished).
He is in the arms of the angel; his absolute total inner truth he feels in her, the most beautiful gift; does not think of the future, every single moment in the arms of an angel; it‘s chaos for him, just at that point, he doesn‘t tell his father about this; he is so in contact with his own soul and in this beautiful woman, she has no expectation of anything, they are just here in paradise.
Prover 3: A month passed; too much expectation; ignored emails from home; he has found his soul mate. He cannot bring her with him. She does not have standing, does not even speak his language because they did not need to talk. She is nobody in this, nobody to his family, and to him, she is his whole world; there are two worlds.

C2
Porver 2 feels trippy.
Prover 2: I see Glen as his father (has going?) to rationalise it.
I feel as if her power will slip away.
Prover 1: The girl who is going to marry; she is a Gucci Girl; does not want to have children, but she knows he has to; she would get a surrogate.
Prover 2: I feel he has a deep connection to the girl.
Problem is:.
Are you strong enough to leave the girlyour family (sacrifice) and way of life to follow your soul‘s journey.
and live with the possibility of love fading; sacrifice a gamble (?) and a chance?
Do you choose love or family?
Did we …. (unreadable).
Prover 2: He has got to look at maintaining his family.
Prover 1: it‘s the choice the incompatibility.
Prover 2: The family will discover him, cut him off financially, he will be a social outcast.
Prover 3: In his naivety he thought they would accept her because he is so loved by his family that he would be totally accepted with his love choice. ….
I thought you would love and accept me no matter what. I did not do anything bad. He fell in love and felt free.
Prover 2: I feel he will sacrifice his soul mate and go for his family.
Prover 3: He feels this love will never happen again. He feels his life back home will be dark and dull.
Prover 2: And he hurts her too by leaving his soul mate.
Prover 3: he was too naive.
Prover 2: the girl becomes a fallen angel in the village, because she is left. The village says: you thought you would be wealthy and caught the big fish.
Prover 3: it was the first time the young man could feel real love.
Prover 2: His tragedy, he carries her in his heart, but he has to go back, cut off with it and become a businessman. He knew it was the truest thing in his life and he turned his back on her. It was absolute true love. It was the love of my life. He had no expectations, he never expected this to happen. So that‘s the sacrifice, but ties with the family, come before the self.
Prover 3: Does he love his parents as before?
Prover 2: Love turns to duty. He becomes robotic. Expectation of the family, rules and duty, like the royal family. It‘s a very sad feeling about it. Closing off of the heart like the sinner before the gates of heaven I‘ll come running on back to you. Feeling of crying.
Prover 2: Why are we so sad for him and not for her? She still has her family.
Prover 3: But she gets problems, too.
Prover 2: But in a way she enchanted him and drew him in; but the family sacrifices her to him; but he drops her; her family saw the opportunity in the relationship and were blind to the danger. Her family used her, thought she could capture him. She was also a tool and not a beloved person.
Prover 3: It was such a deep experience, this stays forever.
Prover 2: How families sacrifice their children.
Prover 3: They do as their parents did with them. In every tribe there are rules.
The family of the girl stepped out of the rules; they were greedy, they dissipated their social code because they were greedy.
Prover 1: Maybe I should try some forbidden fruit.
Prover 3: He can go on with his life from the surface.
She is hurt, hurt forever, and she hurt her family, in the eyes of the community.
Prover 2: He began to realise the expectation of wealth from her family and that he could not meet it, his wealth was from his family, so he knew he did not have the financial sources to improve the standard of living for her family.
Prover 3: He felt like he abandoned her.
Prover 3: No physical crime or brutality, no intention to hurt, just the dilemma.
But it also has the beauty that he sacrifice for his family.
Prover 2: The whole thing is sacrifice. It‘s interesting that Prover 3 saw the blood in the bowl, at the start of the trituration.
It‘s not what all the love songs are about. The classical dilemma between the head and the heart.
Three persons in the proving - triangular aspect. The choice between two things.
Prover 13 (?): it (?) was unlucky in love, he would continue his life with her in mind. Triangular relationship.
Prover 1: it‘s not just the choice between the superficial family; dilemma between two things you love. It‘s not that he is sacrificing.
Prover 3: This love was new and strange, he sacrificed it for the perseverance of family.
Everything …. (unreadable) The memory is stuck and hidden in the mind.

C3
(Marie quotes Oscar Wilde).
From The Ballad of Reading Gaol.
by Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)

Each man kills the thing he loves
By each let this be heard.
Some do it with a bitter look.
Some with a flattering word.
The coward does it with a kiss.
The brave man with a sword!
Some kill their love when they are young.
And some when they are old.
Some strangle with the hands of Lust.
Some with the hands of Gold:
The kindest use a knife, because
The dead so soon grow cold.
Some love too little, some too long.
Some sell, and others buy.
Some do the deed with many tears.
And some without a sigh:
For each man kills the thing he loves.
Yet each man does not die.

Prover 3: The big white hands; naivety and nobody was guilty, the feelings were pure.
Prover 2: Is there pure love?
Prover 1: The mind doesn‘t allow it, the mind gets in the way of the heart.
Would the love have lasted?
There is a thing about this plant and flies.
His love endured in his mind, but he would have it endured in reality.
unless we have a true love of oneself, love can endure, a deep love for the self is necessary for love to last. Each man kills the thing he loves.
You‘re really quite alone in life unless you have a deep love for yourself.
If he would have had a deep love for himself, the love would have endured or he would have never brought her into it.
Prover 2: Both are damaged; she carries her damage locally, he carries his globally.
Prover 1: It‘s sticky, the story sticks.
Prover 2 The story sticks for generations.
Prover 3: Real love exists outside the rules.

3-665.43.11 Psychotria Poeppigiana
Provers: Prover 1 male, 40’s; 1; Prover 2 female, 60’s; Prover 3 female, 60’s.
Report: Marie O’Sullivan.

C1
A feeling of chaos everyone was passing one another out as if no one wanted to commit to the proving. Prover 1 disappeared to the loo and announced “ see you in an.
Prover 2 got a sense that the song by Meatloaf “ Bat out of Hell “ was significant to the proving. Also it was important to use a book with a “ goth theme “ for the proving notes. It seemed important to assign a number to the provers. Prover 3 wanted that number because it was more beautiful than number 1 or 2..more flowing no round.
Prover 1: I have this thing with 13 it keeps appearing in my life..I would have liked the number 3.
Prover 2 began to sing “ like a sinner before the gates of heaven I’ll come crawling on back to you “.
Prover 3 looking at the plant: “l love this colour red with this touch of orange”.
Prover 1. “ fear in bush climber”.
Prover 2 sings “ If I got up and danced I know I’ll be damned “.
Prover 3. I feel lively, active. It ( trituration ) looks like blood. We need our power, we know our power.
Prover 1. Was looking closely at the plant..
Prover 3. Let him believe he is not threatened by her.
Prover 3 and 2 laugh knowingly.
We play “Bat Out Of Hell”.
Prover 3 With the music I feel more power and put much more enthusiasm into triturating. It’s not the most beautiful flower but it’s how the flower opens is beautiful.
Angels hair flew onto the flower from the breeze. We all look at plant very closely.
Prover 1. It has something very angelic about it.
Prover 3. It’s open like wings “ come into my arms “.
A fly wanted to get into the trituration.
Prover 1. He ( the fly) is being invited.
Prover 2. What is the invitation? Lots of things are sticking to it, a seed stuck to it like angels hair. Channys (our angel) hair is stuck to it from when he got the plant in the jungle.
Prover 1. There is a little bit of a rotten smell, flies are attracted to it.
Prover 3. They like to go to meat.
Prover 2. We are like three witches in a convent, numbers seem to be important.
Prover 1 began to talk about a story in Germany where a 13 year old boy beat his friend to death.
Prover 2 began to feel afraid.
Prover 1. Feels better than he did yesterday, more grounded.
Prover 3. “ I don’t feel fear, I feel strong “.
Prover 1. Looking very closely at the plant thinks it’s looks very angelic. Like a “ song of birds” apparition. “ Here I am in all my glory, be it ugly, be it beautiful, you don’t judge”.
Prover 2. I cannot see your body, I can only see how clean our hands are, washed from all sin.
Prover 3. I don’t think sin exists.
Prover 2. I think sin exists in the plant, at the present moment we are washed free of it.
Prover 3 to p 2. You felt fear, I just felt power.
Prover 1. I feel my hands are too big for writing in the book.
Prover 3. There is a sensation of big hands, hands are too big. “ Am I this person with these type of hands “. I’m not the person I thought I was. With this type of power I can do something.
We are gently triturating. There are lots of flies around, much more than any other day.
Prover 3. Maybe the flies are attracted to the smell from the plant. We are all making mistakes in time..it is difficult to stay focussed.
Prover 2. Looks at Prover 1 and says” you have the hands of David” from the sculpture by Michelangelo. They look beautiful.
Prover 3. This plant is not delicate.
Prover 1. It’s flying towards me..she is going to kiss me!!!!!
Prover 3 and Prover 2 say together “ we know she is not a good angel, yes we have been waiting for her to kiss you “..
Prover 1. It’s not eroticism, it’s adventurous.
Prover 3. Yes it’s an adventure.
Prover 1. Where is she flying off to ?.
Prover 2. It’s a sacrifice..” would you offer your throats to the wolf with the green eyes?”.
...would you have the courage to sacrifice?
Prover 1. It ( the plant) looks like a throat, and is vulnerable. Come fly with me, but you are going up a certain path of your own, it’s your decision. You are sacrificing all the other possibilities.
Prover 3. Maybe you get to know someone, they are going to another country, do you stay or go ?
Prover 2 Are they a friend you go with ?
Prover 3. Someone you love or small group, inviting you to a job somewhere else.
Prover 2 If you don’t go ?
Prover 3. It’s clear I go. I left everything behind.
Prover 2. It’s not an option?
Prover 3. It’s so strong, you have got to follow her.

C2
Prover 3. Often it’s I don’t know if I should do this or that.
Prover 2. It’s your destiny.
Prover 3. It’s so clear, just 2 flowers.
Prover 2. What’s the problem ( in this situation).
Long pause.
Prover 2. What’s the story in this ( plant). I feel the story is along the lines of a wealthy young man, who is very naive, comes to spend his time in a foreign country for some adventure. The adventure is about his discovery of self. He is destined to take over the wealth of the family. His parents have already chosen for him from a very young age the girl he is going to marry, a wealthy caste system. There is an expectation of him by his parents to marry a rich girl from another wealthy family. He is trapped by his family using him to save their own wealth. He comes to a country that is poor. He meets a beautiful local girl and is and is attracted by her lips and hands and is very drawn to her. He does not think of his family or his former life, he is totally enthralled by her and totally enjoys her being. He is in the arms of an angel and experiences his absolute total inner truth. He experiences her as a most beautiful gift. He does not think of the future. He is totally in presence and spends every single moment in the arms of this angel. His whole life feels totally clear to him at that point. He does not tell his father about this encounter. He is totally in contact with his own soul and with the soul of this beautiful woman. She has no expectation of anything, they are just here in paradise.
Prover 3. A month passes, he has ignored emails from home as there is too much expectation from his family. He has for the first time in his life found his souls and his soul mate. He knows he cannot bring her with his to his former life as she does not have any standing in his parents community, where everything is measured by how much wealth you or your family possess. She does not even speak his language as they felt no need to communicate with words. She is a nobody in his former life, a nobody in the eyes of his family ! Yet she is his whole world.
There are 2 worlds.
Prover 1 feels like he is tripping.
Prover 2. I see Prover 1 like his father. He is going to rationalise the experience. If he rationalises it I feel her power will slip away.
Prover 1: The girl who he has been told to marry is a “Gucci girl”. She does not want to have children and spoil her figure. She knows that he needs successors to the family fortune so she will choose surrogacy to have her children.
Prover 2. I feel he has a very strong connection to the native girl. The problem seems to be, is he strong enough to leave( sacrifice) his family and way of life to follow his souls journey, and live with the possibility of love fading...
a sacrifice, a gamble and a chance.
Do you choose love or family ?
Prover 2. He has got to look at maintaining his family.
Prover 1. Is the problem the incompatibility ?
Prover 2. His family will disown him and cut him off financially. He will be a social outcast if he chooses love over family.
Prover 3. In his naivety he thought they would accept her because he is so loved by his family he thought they would totally accept his love choice. He is astonished by their reaction. “ I thought you would love and accept me no matter what”!!!!!! “ I did not do anything bad”. He fell in love and felt free for once in his life.
Prover 2. I feel he will sacrifice his soul mate and choose his family.
Prover 3. He feels this love will never happen again. He feels his life without her will be empty, dark and dull.
Prover 2. He also knows he will hurt her by leaving her.
Prover 3 He was too naive.
Prover 2. The girl has become a fallen angel in her village because she is abandoned by him. The village says “ you thought you would be wealthy because you caught the big fish”!!!!!
Prover 3. It was the first time the young man could feel real love.
Prover 2. It will be his personal tragedy that he carries her forever in his heart. But he has to go back, cut off his feelings about it and become a businessman. He knew it was the truest thing he would ever experience in his life and he has got to turn his back on her. It was an absolute true love, it was and ever will be the love of his life. He had no expectations and he never expected this to happen to him. That is the sacrifice, but he is brought up to believe that ties to the family come before self.
Prover 3. Does he love his parents as before?.
Prover 2. Love turns to duty and he becomes robotic in his emotional dealings with others. It is a story of family expectations, rules and duty, like the royal family. There is a very sad feeling about this story. It’s sad that he closes off his heart to survive this experience.
“ like a sinner before the gates of heaven I’ll come running on back to you “.
Prover 3 and Prover 2 feel like crying, it’s so sad.
Prover 2. Why do we feel so sad for him and not for her? She still has her family.
Prover 3. But she has problems too.
Prover 2. In some way she enchanted him and drew him in. Her family sacrifices her to him, but her drops her. Her family saw an opportunity to acquire wealth through the relationship and were blind to the risks they were taking. Her family thought she could capture him with her beauty and she was also used as a means to an end and was not a totally beloved person by her family.
Prover 3. It was such a deep experiences it stays with both of them forever.
Prover 2. It is a story of how parents sacrifice their children for monetary gain.
Prover 3. They do as their parents did with them. In every tribe there are rules. The family of the girl stepped out of the rules, they were greedy.
Prover 1. Maybe I should try some forbidden fruit !!!!!!!!
Prover 3. He can go on with his life on the surface. She is hurt, hurt forever, and she has damaged her family in the eyes of the community.
Prover 2. He began to realise that there was an expectation of wealth within her family from him and that he could not meet it. His wealth was from his family and so he knew he did not have personal financial resources to improve the standard of living of her family.
Prover 3. He felt he abandoned her. There was no physical crime or brutality, no intention to hurt, just the dilemma. But it also has the beauty of the sacrifice he made for his family.
Prover 2. The whole story is one of sacrifice, it is interesting that Prover 1 observed the blood in the bowl ( at the beginning of trituration). It’s what all the love songs are about..the classical dilemma between the head and the heart. 3 persons in the proving represented the triangular aspect of the story. Him, his family and his love, the choice between two things. He was unlucky in love and he would continue his life with her on his mind, in a triangular relationship.
Prover 1. It’s not just the choice between the superficial family, it’s a dilemma between two things you love. It’s not that he is sacrificing.
Prover 3. This love was new and exotic, he sacrificed it for the permanence and continuation of his family.
Everything sticking to it.
The memory is stuck and hidden in the mind.

C3
Yet each man kills the thing he loves.
By each let this be heard.
Some do it with a bitter look.
Some with a flattering word.
The coward does it with a kiss.
The brave man with a sword.
Some kill their love when they are young.
And some when they are old.
Some strangle with the hands of lust.
Some with the hands of gold.
The kindest use a knife, because.
the dead so soon grow cold.
Some love too little, some too long.
Some sell, and others buy.
Some do the deed with many tears.
And some without a sigh.
For each man kills the thing he loves.
Yet each man does not die.
Oscar Wilde.

Prover 3. The big white hands implied naivety and that nobody was guilty, because the feelings were pure.
Prover 2. Is there pure love?
Prover 1. The mind does not allow it, the mind gets in the way of the heart.
Would the love have lasted. There is a thing about this plant and flies. This love endured in his mind, but would it have endured in reality?.
Prover 2. Unless we have a true love of self, love finds it difficult to endure. A deep love of self is necessary for a deep love of another to last. “ Each man kills the thing he loves”.
You’re really quiet alone in life unless you have a deep love of yourself.
Prover 3. If he would have had a deep love of himself the love would have endured otherwise he would have never brought her into it.
Prover 2. Both are damaged by the experience. She carries her damage locally, he carries his damage globally.
Prover 1. It’s sticky, the story sticks.
Prover 2. The story sticks for generations.
Prover 3. Real love exists outside the rules.

Discussion
Prover 1 telling: I had to put head back; would you offer your throat to the wolf; starts singing, “running back to you”. Book they wrote in, was like dark and light. Blossoms attractive. Prover 2 wanted to be kissed by the plant. They needed a nice man, found Prover 3.
Prover 2 saw fresh blood; idea of sacrifice. Angel’s hair fell into it. Saw angel’s wings in the plant. Also too many flies were coming. Prover 1 said: I have big hands, and they look so clean. Said to Prover 3: you have hands like Michelangelo’s David. Prover 3 also felt his hands being much bigger, and beautiful.
Angel-topic remained, and purity.
They chose numbers: one said 3, other one 2, third 1.
Story: young wealthy man from England, from established family, maintaining its wealth, coming to Costa Rica on vacation. You need an adventure. Are you brave enough for it? Falls in love with a beautiful and exotic woman, without thinking, they had one month in paradise. Did not have common language, but were soul-mates. His parents found out about it. Doom; it won’t last. He had to decide, whether to stay in paradise or going on maintaining his family’s wealth.
Her family sacrificed her. They wanted him to bring his family’s money, but this he couldn’t, because his family wouldn’t let him. He ended the relationship, went back, feeling guilty. He would carry her in his heart until the rest of his life. 665.43.11.
Marie quotes Oscar Wilde. Much music and poetry involved; which you do when you are in love or when you lose it.
Remedy for people who prefer money to love.
Facilitator: this helps to refine plant theory.