6.6 Tungstenium
Mind
- Distanced from my own emotions [Gold series], more sensitive to sexual [Gold series] feelings. Less inclined to talk, introverted, conversation did not touch me. Less task consciousness about housework but also less aversion to it.
- Chilling. Aversion to company and parties. Aversion to loud clothes.
- Very irritable towards the children. ‘Don’t bother me with your problems, hurry up’.
- It seemed as if certain incidents did not touch me. (My friend’s father was getting more and more ill). But the usual feelings were not there.
Dreams
- None.
- There was a fire [Tungsten] in the house. It wasn’t my own house. First a case with budgies burnt down. I couldn’t get to it to save them [Gold series]. I woke up at 5 o’ clock. Then I went back to sleep and continued my dream. Now my 23 year old daughter was also in the room. I couldn’t get to her to save her either, I don’t know why. It was as if I was watching a film, it was awful. I panicked and in the end all I could see was fire [Tungsten] and iron bars [Tungsten]. Terrible, frightened, suffocated. Don’t want to repeat it.
- Woke up too late.
- Had the same dream three times: about an accident [challenge, stage 6], a car had turned over and was lying in the street, upside down, with the driver still trapped inside. The first time I was watching it from behind my window and saw the police and ambulance standing around the car. The second time there was only the police and the car. The third time there was only [Gold series] the car. I woke in a fright, realising I was doing a proving.
- A friend of mine tells me she has got a boyfriend and shows me a photograph. It is a photo of him and his son, and they look exactly alike, like twins.
- A large barn with lots of monkeys locked up inside, white ones and black ones, large ones and little ones. They decide to break out of their prison. The guard is a sluggish man with glasses and is feeling homesick. When he enters the barn the monkeys escape through the door behind his back and run into the woods. The boss [Gold series] is furious and goes to look for them [responsible, Gold series]. In the meantime the monkeys have turned into children who try to confuse the boss by making funny noises from behind the bushes and then running away very fast. Because they are young and nimble the boss can’t catch them. During this dream I thought that the guard needed Capsicum.
- I have to go to a sort of tea sorting firm, together with two friends. We will have to undergo a test. We are a precious metal [Gold series] and two semi precious metals, and the people at the firm are going to investigate how we make love [Gold series].
General
Energetic. Dull. Tired.
Temperature: very chilly.
Perspiration: unpleasant odour during the afternoon.
Sleep: waking at 5.30 am. Didn’t get to sleep until 5 am. Heavy, woke up too late [never happens usually], forgot my dreams. Very deep.
Complaints
- Pain in temples, worse right side. Headache, central, ‘sore’ as from flu.
- Headache, stitching, pressing, Right side, next to vertex, later on left side in occiput, low down, stitching (2*).
- Pain left side, in sinus frontalis << cold wind.
- Slight nagging pain above left eye.
- Eyes swollen << waking.
- Sneezing.
- A cold that lasts three weeks [unusual]. First week: a watery discharge, running like a tap, sometimes hardly have time to get a handkerchief. A raw burning feeling in throat, worse right side. Glands in angle of jaw swollen, right side, painful, < turning head sideways.
A heavy dull feeling in the morning, need a long time to get going, unrefreshing sleep. Second week: runny nose slightly better, coughing worse. A dry tickling cough I can’t suppress, sometimes really loud, < physical exertion, < inhaling cold air, < tobacco, < lying in bed, < talking and laughing, > drinking water (briefly). Once lay awake from 2 to 4 o’clock because of cough. Felt desperate and hopeless, embarrassed what my patients might think. Couldn’t tolerate contact lenses anymore. Took Drosera 30.
Third week: Slept extremely well after Drosera. Woke up with terrible, bursting headache, frontal, symmetrical, sometimes worse left side. A heavy feeling of pressure. Nasal discharge and cough less. Now it feels like sinusitis, as if their is a lot of mucus in the sinuses. headache < stooping.
Feeling of heaviness, difficulty thinking.
- Coughing up mucus and scraping.
- Palpitations, in throat.
- At 5.30 pm gradual pain starting in chest far around the third and fourth intercostal space (heart region) [Gold series], pain reaching a maximum at around 6.30 pm. Pain is worst just beside the 4th intercostal, in one spot. Pain was pressing, like a heavy lump, > broad, firm pressure, > while taking a sip of cold water. Sensation as if water was running down past a lump (I thought my heart felt like a lump). The sensation of the water trickling down was nice, so I wanted to drink large gulps of cold water frequently. After meals the pain was 95% better. So probably > after eating, (which is a modality that I recognise, headache > eating). Half an hour after eating the pain was still there slightly, mainly near the third intercostal. During the following three weeks I still had the occasional feeling of pressure in the sternum with stitching pains. Drinking warm or cold water felt very nice, it still felt as if it was flowing past a lump. I got the impression that I had had a type of cramp in the oesophagus.
- Nausea << cigarettes.
- Nausea.
- Stool at 3.30 pm [never happens usually].
- Pain in left ankle, < walking, feeling as if it will give way.