Siparuna thecaphora
Plant: tiny flowers on the branch; bud smells great, attractive, “limoncillo” is the plant's name.
We went to the pond to pick the plant, felt nice, like paradise. Plant hung over the pond. When F took it, it was easier than he thought, but a climber of the plant clinged to another twig. F had the strong feeling, he had ripped it off, from his family, which gave him a very sad feeling, which he could not get rid off during the proving. But the task had to be done.
We had the smell of sweet caramel, throughout the proving. Max also had smell of decay. M and M felt drugged, intense smells, ears sensitive, buzzing, vibrating sensation, goose bumps. I felt terrible, dumb, hard to concentrate, Pink Floyd music. Paradise plus drug led to Apocalypse Now, pure destruction.
Ripped off your family plus drugged plus destruction led to the idea of child soldiers. Soldiers at war, just killing. I. said she couldn't, would commit suicide. No need for that, you will die anyway, we said. Killing without feeling, we were Lost Souls. M and M out of everything, killing was great for them. Child soldiers have to kill their parents first, then they do everything.
Killing takes soul away, I. said, no, this is false like the saying, that an abortion ends a relationship. Ripped off your mother, similar to child-soldier-topic, we evoled abortion as an equivalent to the child-soldier-situation.
In C 3 there was a discussion about sense of life, about achieving, etc. We did not know if this was related to the proving. In fact it was, not the topic, but the way we dealt with it, which was: who is right, and feeling being misunderstod.
622.57.12
Siparunaceae, order Laurales.
C3: showed stage 5, competition. Whom for? Bullies, mobbing, trying to get attention. Grown ups: Sociopaths; American psycho. Manipulation. Suppressed aggression. Charming manipulation plus attractiveness plus destruction, aggression, that is a clue to the remedy. No regrets.