Schistidium crassipilum
Proving: sense proving, 10-4-2018, Rottenburg.
Prover 1
This moss was totally dried up and with the help of some water popped up immediately a few light green leaves. The smell of earth was mixed with a light sort of freshness like lime. The other leaves coloured green, dark-browny green shortly afterwards. The leaves are very tiny and they give a stiff, prickly feeling, especially when rubbing up the wrong way. Every leave has their own stalk, which is never uncovered, and every leave is very very tiny and tapers off to even smaller top. Under the magnifying glass you could see the bromelia or pineapple form on the top, the last leaves almost translucent.
The spores have their own stalk, have an oval form and are light brown coloured, with the except of their flat top which is red coloured: darker red at the border of the top circle and in the middle one point, and the rest of the flat top is lighter red.
Starting with the light green leaves it gives a light impression but in the end it is a dark moss that grows in one direction, all aligned in the same direction.
The hopefulness from the beginning is gone, it is now all dark and suppressed -the leaves don't really raise up, even when they raise up, they can hardly come erect, they lie more or less-. They give me a heavy head from the middle eye-corners up, a kind of depression, belly ache and I am getting hot, constricted and sweaty. I want freedom, we want freedom but the whole group is suppressed. We can only live in the dark, and keeping ourselves silent and not seen. Our story's (spores) are our rescue but are not allowed to tell. We have to conceal them, covering up them as if we are living a sub-life, waiting for the time where open possibilities are allowed. We can't do anything whatsoever if we want to live, we just have to wait, hiding and waiting. It makes us alone and lonely, our connection is still there but is as well not there.
It makes me think of the survivors of the world genocides in the worst case scenario, subgroups like homeless people, most poor and often sick people, and the suppressed groups of homosexuality, femininity, etc. in our society.
Analysis
Moss:
Phase 7: suppressed as a group, put aside, don't show your face otherwise you will get murdered, Phase 2: they don't belong and are only allowed to live if they are not seen, not heard by 'the others, the bosses, the rulers, the believers'; they can't really do a thing.
Stage 1: getting ever more lonely.
Remedy code: 3-332.27.01