3-654.13.03 Heterotis rotundifolia
Name: Lengua de agua.
Introduction
They feel like newcomers, young people at the beginning of puberty. They feel open to the world, but the world does not understand them or they do not understand the world. They are surprised and astonished when people distort and pervert their intentions and feelings.
It is like starting a relationship and people behave strange, tell other things than what they do. It is like young girls with an open heart and mind and then all the boys want to have sex with them directly. They want to do very well, be perfect and sophisticated, but it seems something else is expected from them suddenly. They feel they cannot fulfill the expectations, by friends, family or society, or they do not know how to do that. It is confusing.
Mind
Calm and sweet.
Conflict, aggressive, < being misunderstood.
Stupefied from being left alone.
Insecure.
Impulsive and confused.
Apologizing.
Out of contact with themselves.
Excluded from the group, excluding himself.
Exhausted.
Love versus aggression.
Crude versus refined.
Amorousness not flourishing.
3-654.13.03 Heterotis rotundifolia
Proving: trituration proving; Dos Brazos, Costa Rica; 9-3-2016.
Provers: Prover 1 female, 60’s; Prover 2 female, 60’s; Prover 3 female, 50’s; Prover 4 male, 30’s.
Report: Monika Lang.
Start
Prover 1 joins Prover 3 who already has chosen this plant the day before and Prover 4 accompanies. Prover 2 doesn’t want to prove at all this morning, but finally decides to join Prover 1 as there was a lack of provers.
We find the plant on a riverbank looking like a wild rose, nice and soft. After each of us has picked a flower, Prover 1 has taken some water out of the river, as she feels, the flowers would need that. Choosing the area around the hammocks to do the trituration she finds the other flowers already placed on a table by Prover 3, in a glass with ordinary water from the tap, so she puts hers separated in a plastic cup next to them.
C1
Prover 3 starts to triturate. It is delicate plant, the colour of the lactose instantly turns pale pink. She tells about her traditional way to celebrate a new moon morning( which has been that day), about her early morning meditation right along the river and the very first contact with the plant she has made there already. She feels free while triturating, well centered and hold together. In her mind the plant looks so simple, therefore the solution must be simple too.
Prover 1 feels irritated because she would have preferred river water for all the plants, Prover 2 and Prover 4 as well, but Prover 3 feels very good like that.
Prover 2 reacts aggressive, feels like an outsider lying in her hammock and can’t stand this talking about meditating and moon circles. She thinks someone doesn’t need a reason to meditate, she would just to do it, if she feels like. She is not sure whether to adapt to this situation or to just get up and leave.
Prover 4 has doubts about the plant, as he mentioned it all those days growing along the river, thinking it might have been proved already. It gives him the impression of a trivial, peaceful life, a farmers life.
Prover 1 likes to find out, if the article in the newspaper the plant is placed on, would have a special meaning for this proving? It is an advertisement of IKEA, representing a very common lifestyle, everyone can afford. Recently Prover 2´s daughter set up her new flat with furniture from IKEA. Prover 2 likes decorating, as he is a houseman. Prover 1 and Prover 2 love purism, no needless things around.
C2
Prover 3 is fascinated, feels calm but not bored, thankful for the attentiveness and experiences life seems very refined in this moment.
Prover 2 experiences different and refuses the idea, everything has to be nice and in harmony. She feels resistance- one doesn’t need to do anything besides being here and feel free. Meditation has to be free, she wouldn’t need special times to do it. It is not easy for her to be in opposition and to name it, she needs courage to speak about and do so.
Now we start to argue about the flowers in different waters, about an isolated one in a plastic cup with river water and the other three in a nice glass, but with normal water. Prover 4 finds the solution: Four plants in the glass with the river water!
Prover 2 starts arguing about Prover 3´s choice of words when talking to her. Like” Prover 2 is commanding!” But Prover 3 doesn’t want to discuss with Prover 2, pretending she is not trying to affront her, but dislikes to be disturbed by Prover 2´s comments. She feels herself as an individual in a group and wants let go fights, refusing to keep on talking, because this circumstance doesn’t make her feel good at all and therefore she just wants to protect herself. To argue and find a common ground is astonishing for her. - She stands up and disappears!
Prover 4 thinks, it is unfair not to fight the conflict, so the ego would becomes bigger.
Prover 2: “ I just have been cautious, but she has been talking about my feelings, but not about her own. She gets what she wants, she wants to decide, but ignores my feelings and she thinks to know what I am.”.
We realize that this little plant causes heavy emotional reactions, we stay with our feelings.
Prover 2 gets out of the hammock and Jan comes along: “Oh, someone left?”.
Prover 4 “I respect her place. Feeling of carelessness. The leaves of the flowers are already dropping, they are flowering only for one day only! Maybe they didn’t want to stay close to each other?”.
Jan gets Prover 3 back, she somehow apologizes and explains:” I feel fine with myself while triturating!”.
The others accept.
Prover 4 thinks about this small wild rose without stings. He has thought it is kind of mellow, but now he is interested in its deeper meaning. He feels in a position to bring more calmness into the group (he is the only man) as he realizes tension and insecurity within the other members but not within himself.
Prover 2 agrees with Prover 4´s position as an over viewer to find good solutions as he showed up already.
Prover 4 hesitates with this position and wonders if it shows any affect on the trituration if one is sitting or standing while doing it? He prefers to stand, it feels better and later Prover 2 stands up too, she also wants to experience it that way.
Prover 3 We have tried a lot until now, have tried to really arrive, to find a common way, but it doesn’t work out. “You, Prover 2, you haven’t heard me at all, not yet realized what message I have been trying to deliver. I would like everyone to talk about his personal point of view now, as it seems everyone of you wants the best for me, but it feels like drumming into my mind and that is too much for me.”.
Prover 4 interferes: “It seems Prover 2 is right in a certain way, she looks into the mirror. Prover 3 only has got the chance to leave, as long as she doesn’t regret or avoid her “mistakes”. She has not felt understood by the others at all, she thought to react polite and kind, but for Prover 2 it still has sound angry.”.
Prover 3 “Everything I do is wrong!”.
Prover 2 gets very angry: “This is exactly what I have experienced throughout my whole childhood. All those reprimands, it has never been good enough. As I have said in the beginning, I cannot adjust anymore.
Prover 4 “As a child I have been very insecure and I simply have been laughing, even in situations without a good reason”. There has been a big tension between his parents and they have sent him out of the room when laughing. In his age from 6 to 12 he has got the feeling, not being allowed to laugh anymore and he has started to avoid laughing at all! It is like shutting off emotions to avoid unconscious impulsive reactions.
Prover 2 pretends to maintain her opposite way of thinking is the proving reaction only, she would never do so in real life. Reprimands in education and childhood, that is the theme we are talking about. “Explaining for helping”.
Prover 4 is a very good time keeper and mediator. “It feels like the beginning of a relationship, but being perceptive, even with best intentions makes everything worse in the end. How was your feeling?”.
Prover 3 “I have not had no space to express myself!”.
Prover 2 “I have had the feeling of an emotional contrast bath, being lauded on one side and devaluated on the other side by Prover 3, it came so unexpected.”.
Prover 4” Impatience is a theme too.”.
Prover 2 feels in the role of a provocateur and Prover 1 just wants to be found as an individual.
Prover 3 “the plant is very delicate, the petals drop already!”.
Meanwhile Prover 1 and Prover 2 are talking about completely different subjects, while Prover 4 is measuring the time, Prover 3 is writing and Jan is thinking, trying to find out what is going on.
Prover 4 “The plant is very fragile and drops its petals very easily.”.
Facilitator: It might be a one day blossom. He gets the picture of a nice young girl, very pretty and naive and the others don’t understand her. They just want sex from her, but she doesn’t understand the reflection from the outside and withdraws from the situation.
Prover 1 “Every single person wants to be seen and recognized, but the group is not aware of that. It is important from which background I come and what I experience, how I feel about and what I decide for my life and those who belong to me(children and parents..). Sometimes it is one single word or a sentence(from parents or the partner) that changes everything.”
C3
We start talking about our life stories, what influenced us and which decisions we made out of that and how we placed an imprint for the future of our children or ourselves. Prover 1 was overprotected and not allowed to go her own way and choose a profession she would have liked and so on. That made her leave home and emigrate to a very far country. Also to prove her first big love, which made fate turn around, but again ended up in paternalism. She didn’t marry her first love, gave the child away for adoption(and found it back 30 years later, to completely reintegrate it into her family) and she never told her parents.
Prover 3 summarizes: “One wants to starts a relationship, tries to make things clear, but ends up in big confusion.” Her first love has been like a big fire. Just about to found a relationship, she already got pregnant. He hasn’t been ready to accept a child out of this love and further neglecting the relationship. “It is also the desire for a relationship which never really started.”
Prover 1; “One always tries the best but just reaches the opposite. I have got what I tried to avoid.”
Prover 4 tells his story: It is about his little sister, who has been adopted by his parents after they have lost a baby girl. She has been raped when she was 12 and further on she has got the feeling of being dirty and looking ugly as a pig. She was very depressive and made suicide when she was 18. Her story seems like a fairy tale picture, looking for love all her life long, but no further development took place. He has tried to make his little sister happy, wanting to bring joy into her life, bought her nice things, some luxury, trying to give her some love, like brothers do. But she fell in love with him, a love which never could be fulfilled. After her death, it helped him to take life just as it was, as he had given the best he could. “There was a big drama in the family after her suicide and suddenly I recognized: The most important thing in life is love, that is absolutely number one!” All his life he was searching for true love! That determined his life. As long as he remembers, he feels a very deep sadness within him. As a child his parents have expected him to be a girl (it was his elder sister who has died early). He hasn’t understood what is been expected from him, what they have asked from him, they have just given him a role to make him feel powerless, designating and wishing to escape. That is also why he likes to give love a central position in his life!
Prover 2´s story: At the end of her marriage she has found a deep love to another man, which has finally enabled her to experience herself in a completely new way. She suddenly was able to open herself, although it was only a platonic love, which never was fulfilled. But she has found a new way to love herself and her children. Suddenly life has been full of love and this love heals everything throughout the time and gives her the power for a new life. Love has filled her whole life and it has not been important which person she is been loving, that has not had any more meaning to her.
Prover 4 “that is also the best preparation for death”.
Prover 2 “ Unconditional love cures everything.
Prover 1 That is how you get out of your own ego and your inner self can develop and come alive. Deepness versus superficiality. Easiness in love can be important too.
Summary
Love, simply being loved; first love, not fulfilled; conditional- unconditional love; patronize through love; adopted child; love without responsibility; forced love.
The beginning of a relationship, but no further development.
A single within a group, wants to be see and individually recognized. Outsider.
Spontaneous. Doing everything on risk.
Impatient.
Emotional confused, irritated.
Self-contained in a naive way.
Misunderstood by too much good will.
Unstable. Sudden brake down.
Disability to adept or to adjust. Afflictions because of.
Frustration, disability to express oneself.
Ego conflict because of personal instability, not yet identified, tries to escape.
Eliminates problems, turns around and keeps on going, just being himself.
Prefers a state of easy going.
Fairy tale atmosphere, leads himself into a delusional state of being.
Discussion
nice soft flowers, petals fall off easily, especially when picked in the evening.
Prover 2 telling: issue about relationship; all four occupied with different issues; Prover 2 thought she had to wait until the others were ready. About starting a relationship; Prover 3 started to triturate in harmony; nice colours in bowl, everything calm and sweet; soon they went into conflict, aggressive, both felt misunderstood, Prover 3 left the group, saying, the others were too stupid for her. Prover 4 thinks it was stupid. Jan brought Prover 3 back; apologizes; Prover 3 had the feeling Prover 2 knew everything better, Prover 2 felt that Prover 3 was always saying you, you, you, instead of I feel.
Prover 4 put 2 pots on the table, then Prover 1 was upset, because her pot was not there. Three felt excluded from the group, and Prover 4 felt like excluding himself. B put all the flowers together, but that seemed to be too close for the flowers ….
Before starting C2, they were exhausted, so had a cigarette and a Schnaps. That calmed them down. M broke a glass which could be an end or bring luck.
Idea: Child who was different than expected by the family. Or young girl in puberty (Facilitator’s idea), someone asks her for sex. She is not prepared for that but wants a relationship. Impulsive beginning of a relationship, then need to adapt or to leave, this is confusing. Insecure how to handle that. Impulsive and confused.
654.13.03.