Case 2.3
Maria Clog
Woman, b. 1972, so 29 years
Headache attacks associated with total exhaustion. Sometimes weekly, usually emerging in the course of the morning, she can no longer do anything. Migraine-like: eyes hurt, light <, cracking, warm head, thumping, and dull, sometimes face pain and stabbing above the temples, or right through the head.
These complaints remained after Pfeiffer's disease, she was 17 years old at the time (1989).
This Zkt.v. Pfeiffer gave more than 4 years of complaints.
In 1994 she visited Yomanda twice, after which the complaints stayed away.
In 1996 she visited India, together with her partner.
Here she became very sick of a Giardia Lamblia infection.
She thought the world in India was an absurd world, but she was very 'at home' there.
From 1997 on very often very tired, and often the old headache with exhaustion.
Finished his studies anyway: Dutch language and literature, towards the Middle Ages and mystics.
In 1999 he went on to give courses on this subject. Prior to the course she always had a lot of physical complaints, lack of appetite, and the headaches and exhaustion kept coming back.
In 2000 she ended her relationship with her partner; after 7 years of living together; this caused a lot of sadness, but it really didn't work out; it was the love of her life. She still has a bond with him (in tears when she talks about this..).
At the end of 2000 she was really depressed by this.
In 2001 she visited Yomanda again, but this didn't help.
Poor wearing of clothes; fast tendency to lose weight, time was too thin.
Mind: Difficult to be real somewhere. Been angry for a long time that she was born. Going out into the world always exacerbates complaints (but travelling improves).
I don't want to have to do anything, I'd rather look at life than be in it; driving, for example, didn't work out.
I want to understand the people.
Fears; Spiders - they are loveless, a symbol of something awful.
Unnatural things, especially ghosts.. Grandma did spiritual sessions.
Relationships: no partner now, but some close friends; mother and sister are important. Father is good, but a little thoughtful. At home there was always room for her 'otherworldliness'.
Work: set up a digital archive of the Dutch National Anthem; it was nice work, almost finished.
Loves mysticism, singing, poetry.
Generals
Weather: warm, sometimes sweating; exposed in bed by the heat; < sun, heat
Desires: fish, fat, egg.
Aversion: chocolate, onion, paprika, raisins.
History:
Loss of blood during pregnancy, prior to that mother had had a miscarriage, M used Duphaston in the sw. shelf. Partus in 3 hours, principal position.
As a baby operated on for inguinal hernia(L+R)
Always 'difficult child', often eating problems, never very energetic, problems with clothing.
16-years-old: had breast reduction done; were really physically obstructive, for example when doing sports.
17-year: Pfeiffer's disease, with a lot of high fever, and severe headache, many painkillers used.
28-year-old (2000): Endometriosis of the cervix, treated with cryocoagulation. Several years of contact bleeding.
When asked about my childhood she says: I was always strange in this life, I would rather look at it than be in it. I didn't want to have to do anything. School was hard, because of all these duties, but she insisted on studying Dutch. Was a withdrawn adolescent, isolated, also with learning not to have to go anywhere with the family. As a child she told her mother: "What am I doing here, I don't want to be here, I shouldn't have been born."
During the headache feeling of 'falling out'; forward; and tingling legs. Then I feel detached from everything in my body.. feeling: how should I live?
India was fantastic! That's where I belong! Don't you dare go there again, afraid of getting so sick again, or unbalanced again.
Analysis
Baptisia: categories, millennium rep. V. Zantvoort.
Generals: agg 5-9 hours and 18-21 hours, airdraft<, aversion open air
Spells of abscense/unconsciousness, fainting frequent, lying down<<
Numbness, ext. insensibility. Pain, sore, bruised, ext. and int.weakness open air.
Sudden infirmity, del.escape/ double/ doomed, divided
Mind: dullness, sluggishness from headache, stupefaction as if intoxicated, stupor during fever.
Joanesia asoca: sections: des. sweets and acids
Dreams frihgtful, dreams travels, yourneys( nb.:also theridion.)
Head pain neuralgic, temples, congestion sides, human profuse.
Reaction
Pfeiffer 30K gave no result.
Second regulation agent B: (Baptisia tinct.)**
Third consultation 8 May 2002
Reaction:
After 24 hours a lot of headache, cramped right by the eyebrow; very dull and very tired. And nauseous. Feeling of aggression against myself from the outside (?).
Once rested after a few days she feels very good for 2 weeks, energetic, remained a bit nauseous, and had an itchy rash on the buttocks and hips.
Dream: About travelling to India, now with her sister. Wanted to visit a temple, very big with the body of a woman; realized: a body is also a kind of temple;, that's where I can live..
In the dream her sister doesn't want to go to the temple, and later, after she went there alone, she wants to photograph the temple, but her sister was always in the picture.
Later she says: I know where I don't want to be, I don't want to be in a woman's body; that sister was me.
The improvement took three weeks. On the 25th of April she goes on a trip to Italy; it was very overwhelming, wonderful, to be away, she looked back a lot on her old relationship.
And the headache came back also the feeling of not wanting to be there, was sometimes very absent, but enjoyed it.
Says in this consultation: I think it's nice that in India female gods can be; not here.
I can get very angry about the position of the woman, also in the church here in the west.
But here, as a woman, you can speak as usual, also about religion; I only have to cross that threshold all the time, as if it wasn't possible, because I'm a woman; but that's not true at all here.. I seem to be hearing somewhere else..?
Fourth consultation 19 June 2002
A day after this intake became very tired, stayed like this for 10 days, could only lie down, even had trouble making contact, seemed to have no grip on the world anymore. This was really that old fatigue again, but for a very long time. But no more headaches.
After the tenth day we woke up very brightly, we started writing a poem. It was good.
Went on a journey again, now to Egypt
Got a headache again, but it was bearable.
It was wonderful to be in such a different culture.
But was tired again very quickly, and then let everything go by itself.
At the end of the holiday she became really sick, a diarrhea etc. Got Fasigyn against parasites. It helped immediately.
Remained too present until June 7.
She hasn't had a headache anymore, but she has some energy left.
Says: the realization to be a girl was as a child a terrible discovery.
I love to travel, so I can get out of that thinking process, then it doesn't matter whether I belong there or not. Maybe I am a person with two worlds in me.
Fourth precept: means C
On the advice of Jan Scholten a 'women's medicine' from India, also one of the Fabaceae: (Joanesia asoca)
Fifth consultation: 04-09-2002
Third rule, repeat agent B
Took it 15 July 2002
Just got the flu, last but not least: a bad cold, a high fever, again very tired, a lot of sleep then. Got better and better with all the photos since 1990.
While sleeping / lying half awake on the couch, she had an experience:
She suddenly fell into a kind of grey fog, couldn't move anymore, heard loud sawing noises; she was alone in the house, but heard footsteps, knew it wasn't possible, but they were really there. A woman approached her from behind, she just came into the room, and approached her.. she couldn't turn around, she was paralyzed, so to speak.
Suddenly she knew: I don't want this, and she said it out loud. And the woman behind her then stopped and left again; it was part of her fear of the paranormal, as her grandmother always had it.
Once again that week she had the beginning of the same situation, but now she immediately said out loud: I don't want this! And then the sensation came to an end.
Afterwards: I stayed very good, no more headaches, just one day during menstruation, but it went away completely.
Much less tired during the day, more rested awake, never had that total exhaustion again.
"I've accepted the womanhood problem more.
Very busy with time two years ago, just after the partner's divorce.
Is more aware of own place as an adult next to the parents.
I have now improved 70%.
Advice: means C only repeat itself
Sixth consultation 2 December 2002
Energy 60% remained better, but sometimes still wake up in the old pattern:
Travelling is: just being outside of life.
Says: In normal life I have to free myself from the old female archetypes: Eve, Maria, Venus..
Like I don't fit in my soul, or my soul doesn't fit in my body, my head.
It cripples me, the body is too one-sided, I want the open look to look at,
Mystics had an unorthodox Godscape.
She says that she has suddenly come up with some real plans, a.o. to publish poems.
She also has to look for another job, it's a pity that she has to put bread on the table.
Would like to be busy with creative things only.
I still gave medium D (Zirconium acidum), but that didn't do much.
In the last consultation we talk about past lives, reincarnation, etc.
She tells us that she has done a reading at a paranormal fair, and that that made a big impression.
We say goodbye, but two weeks later she writes I want to talk even more; it's mainly about the statements of a clairvoyant, who said: the one with whom you are now, for that person you are in the world now, otherwise you wouldn't have been here yet.
That was the man she divorced a few years later; it was very confusing for her then, she had the feeling that she was broken up in the relationship now, so she could stop living, or was it all meant to be?
I have to do my own things, don't I?
** Reason to think of one of the Fabaceae:
lassitude/ abscense, pfeiffer, bloated belly, weakness during fever, struggle between wanting to watch and ambition; the two worlds.
All in all: the original complaints have been over for 6 months now, and above all: has she taken a huge step towards acceptance of her life? Her parents think the same, and as a therapist I feel the same about her.
She comes back to look further.