Atrichum undulatum
Man, 62 years
He's very desperate, doesn't know what to do. He has just finished a three-year psychotherapy, which in his eyes was unsuccessful. All his life he has tried therapies. He has also been in homeopathic treatment with me before (with intervals from 1993 to 2008). At that time he had uncontrollable outbursts of rage, which could also end in breaking furniture, screaming around and not being able to control himself. I treated him with Anacardium, Mercurius solibilis, Ammonium carbonicum and Hydrogenium. The uncontrollable outbursts of rage got better underneath, but when he was upset he could still only scream loudly and couldn't control himself.
At present (in January 2019) he has the feeling that nothing can help. This is reported to me by his wife, who is helpless and desperate. Recently he was attacked by someone in the hallway, he is verbally insulted again and again by a neighbour. Since then he is afraid of him, feels disparaged, isolated, in him again and again the thought: you are nothing, you can do nothing, you will become nothing. In the presence of his wife, he shouts out his desperation again and again. His wife is also an alternative practitioner and asks me for help from colleagues. He himself does not want to accept any help from outside at the moment, but would be willing to accept a remedy from her.
On top of that, he has bought a new motorcycle, a special model that has had technical problems from the beginning. The seller does not respond to his complaints as he expects, he feels stalled, overlooked, "taken the piss out of", would like to return the motorcycle, but at the same time this was his dream to own such a motorcycle. This also brings him into an inner distress, he screams the conflict out again and again.
Because I had just exchanged myself a few days before with colleagues about the subject mosses and was still completely in the moss topic, I immediately thought about the examination of Atrichum undulatum:
Dark, hopeless, like trapped in a tunnel.
Great despair, screaming.
Screaming is important, is good and helps.
Can't get a foot on the ground for all the grief and fear.
Nightmarish state.
Scream, scream, scream.
The following symptoms speak for a moss:
Lack of self-esteem (you are nothing, you can do nothing, you will become nothing).
Feels not seen and heard.
Feels isolated.
I recommend a dose of Atrichum undulatum C30, which calms the situation down to such an extent that there are no more ideas of escalation and the screaming attacks are less violent, loud and desperate. After a few weeks I recommend Atrichum undulatum C12 daily, because I made good experiences with this dosage especially with the mosses in initial situations. The patient is willing to accept this treatment.
He can solve the conflict with the motorcycle in such a way that there is no escalation between him and the seller. His wife and friends experience him as more relaxed, open and flexible.
About half a year after the beginning of the treatment he is ready to "officially" undergo treatment and appears in person. He says that the remedy helped him to arrange his dealings with the seller of the motorcycle in such a way that no violent arguments arose. He has now ridden 10,000 km on his motorcycle and enjoys it very much. In a longer conversation he recounts his life story and his problems (the words in bold print indicate a moss):
In his first three years he and his parents lived in a war ruin, the parents were war refugees and lived in poverty. His memories of early childhood are blurred, he was afraid of people, including relatives. He describes himself as a "child on the street", school was difficult, constantly changing class teachers, no interest in any subject. At the age of about 8 to 9 years he had his first contact with high-proof alcohol, which his parents served him at a family party. He experiences the effect of the alcohol as warm, peaceful, exhilarating and liberating. Since the family members notice that he likes alcohol, he often gets chocolates with alcohol as a present. As he says, he has a distanced relationship with his parents and sister. The only heartfelt relationship is with his grandmother. The parents consumed alcohol regularly. Apart from that, he can hardly remember anything from his childhood.
In his youth he becomes an alcoholic, paired with drugs. He lives from hand to mouth, with the typical social decline. In his late twenties he manages to get rid of his addictions, he has been sober ever since. Thanks to the support he receives in his relationship with his new partner, he manages to get an education and work. Yet he always feels like an outsider: in relationships with people, at work, in the family.
At his last job he worked in the warehouse, which does not correspond to his training as a businessman. He preferred to be for himself. At the same time he felt isolated and degraded.
He finds it fundamentally difficult to make decisions, often has the feeling of being a failure. "I don't exist, but I'm someone who wants to live" he used to say.
Follow up
For a year and a half I have given him Atrichum undulatum in higher potencies, most recently in the M.
Since then he has been in contact with his uncle, because he wants contact with his family; that is new.
He seems more open and accessible to me and willingly sends me photos from his childhood. In conflicts he can turn more quickly to a positive solution. He does not feel as desperate as he did 1.5 years ago. He feels a little more confident.
During the consultation he seems more relaxed, the contact to me is better, I feel more connection.
He recently tackled a conflict with a neighbour who is too loud at night in a constructive way. The same applies to a conflict with a garden neighbour who spends hours every day loudly drilling, sawing and sanding in his garden. In a telephone conversation a few days ago he told me that he himself is very surprised about how he deals with conflicts at the moment, that it is important to him to be understandable for others. He now wants to deal with conflicts creatively. His voice sounds softer and he seems softer overall. He says himself: "I am surprised that I am capable of acting in spite of my conflicts".
Analysis
Indicates a moss:
His pronounced lack of self-esteem, the feeling of being an outsider, his actual outsider status and his not well established position in society. Despite massive drug and alcohol consumption, he manages to get out of the drug milieu and his strong addiction, of course with support. He is still dry today! This shows me his strong will to survive: "I do not exist, but I am something that wants to live " This strong will to survive is for me another indication of a moss.
He works in the camp, which does not correspond to his training. It is also an indication of his lack of self-esteem.
His parents and he initially lived in a war ruin. He showed me photos of this house, from our present level it seems unimaginable to me to live in such a house. But mosses can live and survive in the most adverse circumstances..Also the picture of the war ruin is for me a symbol for a moss, because mosses have to do with consequences of traumas.
His parents were poor and he too was afraid of poverty all his life.
Life in his family seems to have been very simply structured, with little feeling, empathy and understanding for a child. This is clearly expressed in the fact that he was regularly given alcohol as a child.
For Atrichum undulatum speaks:
I myself had tested Atrichum undulatum in Rottenburg during our proving meeting in a sense proving.
I could feel the great desperation, the screaming, which is necessary to not go insane, with him. This symptom was the most outstanding in the test and the most outstanding in this case.
Literature
In the fairyland of mosses", Jan Scholten 2020, p.124