Number: 61111.01
Series: Hydrogen series; emphasis on Hydrogen series.
Clades: Amborellaceae; Amborellales.
Phase: 1; Subphase: 1.
Stage: 1.
Introduction
The theme can be that of a very vague kind of existence. It is like an experience without action, just being.
Amborella trichopoda, proving
Sense proving, 30-10-2012, between Los Angelos and Detroit, Melanie Grimes.
Prover 1
Happy bouncy expectant.
Homesick. Seeking water.
Alone, like a small child looking for parent but content and safe right now. Don’t know where parent is and not worried about it.
Kindergarten
Snow flakes.
Innocence. Like a boy in school yard chasing a girl but doesn’t yet know why he does.
Dry. Tingly. Sparkly. Not an itch but an excitement of nerves.
Tingly a bit.
I taste it. A bit astringent. Chalk like, lemony. Dry.
Same sensation of a tingly numbness.
Chalky creamy as if I’d had milk in my mouth. This lasts a while the creamy feeling in my mouth.
I feel a bit bored and want to do something different.
Creamy lemony sensation continues.
Fingers feel a bit sticky.
White foam. Like snow, like sea?
In a shady spot on a sandy beach under a larger sheltering tree.
Pulsing in fingers holding the flower. Left hand first finger. Because I squeezed them too hard or from the proving?
I feel impatient having to write this up from my hand written notes.
Continue to have a lonely happy feeling like in kindergarten. Don’t know that there are things to worry about (retarded). Life is simple and fun. Like a box of new crayons.
I am part of the group without knowing the group.
Still amorphous personally. Merging with the rest of the class. We are one. All in sync together.
There must be a teacher but she is around.
We are children playing in a group. Merging with each other, happy contenct.
Like lights on a Christmas tree.
Some slight nausea. Maybe drowsy, not sure.
A bit anxious to move on, as if this is not enough but I don’t know why. I want to stop doing this proving because I am a bit bored like talking to a child, it’s not very satisfying. I want more. I am not fascinated, attention wandering, though the child still needs some of my attention. And I am responsible, like for a niece or nephew, not my child.
Or I am baby sitting and want the parents to come back so I can so something else. I feel bad for feeling this way, as if I should be more engaged, but the child is not needy, just needs my presence. Not much more of me, no talk, or interesting talk, so I am bored. Like a sleeping child and I can’t leave but nothing to do while I stay. Want to move on but to where? I don’t feel trapped. Not restless. Like I’m too tired to do anything anyway, but not physically tired.
I wish I was somewhere else and did not have this little boredom. Even though it’s easy and not occupying much of me.
Still the little responsibility restricts me, so I cannot do anything bigger and I am resentful but I cannot picture anything I’d rather do.
I am like a teenager with no date, no boyfriend, nothing better to do on a Saturday night and this is what bugs me.
I have nothing better to do.
I remember feeling this way as a baby sitter when I was 15 and the kids were asleep and parents were out for night having fun and I had to stay awake until they got home for a little bit of money and I really did not like to baby sit but had nothing else to do. It was all I could do for a job though it did not suit me at all. I was tired but had this stupid job to do.