15 Allamanda cathartica
Number: 3-665.25.17.
Clades: Rauvolfieae, Gentianales, Lamiidae, Asteranae, Angiospermae.
Introduction
They have a big problem with contacts. At one hand they feel too insecure and shy to get into real contact and at the other hand they feel already excluded before they got the contact. They fear that when they will be open they will be seen as ugly and dirty, that something is not good with them and that people will only tolerate them without real respect. This makes them very irritable, thinking that others will not like them even before anything wrong has been said.
They like to shine and to be beautiful and attractive, but often feel too big, too obese, too tall, too much, expansive, clumsy, ugly and unfitting. They fear to take their own space, overrule and hurt others. It makes them retiring, avoiding the contacts, or being present silently. They feel confused when mixing with others, as if they are misunderstood and misunderstanding others, as if they are talking in different languages. The are very sensitive and see things that others do not understand, which makes the communication even more difficult.
These problems are in present in the family, personal relationships and friends and in their job. They can get in a marriage out of fear of not getting a spouse anymore, without feeling real love. They feel not accepted and abused, but where they are to adapting to divorce. It can lead to cat and dog quarrels. Their parents often had fights, openly and silently and they had to endure and solve those parental problems. Their parents can make them responsible for their suffering.
Their desire for a better world makes them having professions and projects to do good for the world. They want to make people free, free from suffering and pain. But often there they are also misunderstood.
Mind
Lonesome, alone in the group, in the marriage.
Irritable, < misunderstood, being left alone, being alone. Female: uterus inflammation, <
spiral.
Body
Mouth: taste bitter. Throat: bitter. Stomach: nausea.
Discussion
Allamanda cathartica, Apocynaceae.
Used for purification; Mantis sitting on the plant; passive and silent; then attacks; taking all the attention.
Afraid of taking the place in the group, fearing the critic of the others; taking space or pulling yourself out.
Prover 15 felt totally out, like a therapist. Both he and Prover 4 had difficulty in taking their place in the group.
Shift: obsession in Prover 4ās family; father said: I became blind to feed you.
he was blind after the war, 100% handicapped; sitting in the chair, saying I am blind and therefore have a special pension so you can study; everything was bitter, tears, plant; felt too clumsy, felt too big; attracted by huge flowers, always feeling excluded; her mother was excluded too, like Prover 4 felt in this group; always left alone with a bitter feeling.
Prover 15 drew back because he felt overwhelmed.
However you turn it, you are excluded, very confusing; take your room; Prover 15 now takes his space: problem between 2 and 5: in the fright or caution not to be excluded, you take too much space.
The number is 665.25 and the Stage seems to be 12.
665.25.12: dominated by mother, wanted to have freedom; Prover 16 has depressions sometimes; fear of contacts; not allowing himself to be himself; might get expelled?
Then Prover 15 realized he was too passive; Prover 16 too; Prover 15 remembered the robbery of his hut; out of fear being excluded, they are too expansive; not belonging; Lanthanide qualities: to save the world & Prover 15 felt like a therapist.
Entanglement; but for higher educated people than in the Malpighiales. Malpighiales has entanglement in the family and in work.
Prover 4ās mother found father at a later age. Father told only late that he alrea- dy had a family!
Prover 23 gives examples of Malpighiales: related: Banisteriopsis caapi, heals such entanglements in the family; or: Three sisters fought about inheritance, one wanted her share clear, the others tried to lie, cheat, mean fights, in family entanglement: Dichapetalum.
Proving Allamanda cathartica
Trituration proving, Nosy Be, Madagascar 26-9-2013. Provers: Prover 4, Prover 15, Prover 16.
Time is on my side, aversion to the tick of the clock.
Bitter taste around the mouth, sticky quality.
Take it careful in the mouth it is dangerous.
If it comes up, the plant needs something for support, like a fountain (like a bougainvillea)
It stands in Prover 4ās garden (it might be a hybrid, Chr.), I keep it already since years, I cut it before winter and put it outdoors in May; It stands in the central corner of our courtyard, leaning against the wall, facing the sun. It is shiny and bright, reflects the light and joy for being.
Prover 16: I don`t want to stand in the way of others.
I am standing in the background, it is hard for me to open out; I`m not inside a group.
If I say something it always has to be good, I have to be sure. I am afraid of criticism.
Every time I`m passive and sometimes I hate this feeling. I need attention.
It is a bad feeling to be aggressive, poisonous, to attract the attention, unconsciously.
Not in the power to control it, the attracting of attention, feeling guilty for attracting attention.
If you do not speak you are in the power position, you are passive aggressive, when you hold back you are in a power position; (Thatās the bad feeling, coordinator)
People bound to me because I Ģm so open.
Draw back feelings and aggression.
Difficulties and fears of taking one`s space.
Difficulty to take your one space, the same with breathing (Prover 16 feels there is not enough space to breath), out of the fear of being not accepted by the others.
Prover 4: I do understand this feeling completely, I know this delusion, since I`m alive.
Prover 15: I also know this feeling but it is not so strong anymore, it is more on the surface, but it is still there.
Prover 4: This plant is very strong and keeps its beauty and freshness for a long time.
It likes to lean on someone, it feels much better then, it can also hide behind someone or behind someoneās problem.
Hide behind the patient in the background.
Prover 16: Likes to reflect the ideas of others within himself to learn from them. Than he has to put himself and his problem in the background, otherwise he would get mixed up, mixed up with the themes of the others and would be con- fused, or be afraid to confuse the others.
Prover 16: What is confusion? Time to clear things out!
Passive aggression, I hate myself for not getting out.
First relationship, have gone to deep into it, have given my self away; no energy to do something.
Insecurity, do not take my space; more self-esteem; would like to take my space.
Prover 4 remembers her situation in kinder garden, when 2 years old:
They didnāt let me play with them, I was excluded, spoke in a different language, nobody could understand it.
Smiling happily, like the flower.
I`m not stupid, but I`m to much for the others, than it started, to hold back myself, paranoia.
Prover 15: Pulled back into myself, outsider, reflecting about whatās going on with the others, Prover 4 and Prover 16.
Prover 4: Nature and earth are bound to each other. This plant is alone, leaning on.
Endure others, to be there for others, to be with others is the most beautiful. To be ten hours with patients, than I feel perfect.
I do not burden them; I go gently into contact, participating in problem of the other.
The problem arises if I don`t do it, than I am stuck into my own heaviness.
Prover 16: Feels guilty, because Prover 15 is completely within our problems.
Prover 4: Confusion, fear of influencing others too much, fears of abusing others. Therefore surrender totally, give protection and give others the chance to develop, without putting imprints on them.
Prover 16: Fear of unidentified origin after purging (rain), unusual because origin is not identified. Could not, must not purge from fear, because it is not correlating with me.
Prover 4: I had neurodermitis; thousand hands touched me, when I was in hospital for three months, in the age of 1 or 2. Don`t know where they have touched me or how, putting on crĆØmes, beating me, if not behaving nicely, donāt know what those hands did to me? Abused? I donāt remember a hymen; sexuality, masochism.
My mother was happy, when pregnant with me, always wanted someone belonging to her only. Also I wanted her to be happy all the time. She had control over me, I wanted to shake it of, I wanted to be myself.
Abused, totally abused, I never want to abuse anybody, have to support the others, I`m on a big mission on earth, I want to free everybody from his abandonment. Therefore, when Prover 16 was born I promised never to put so much domination on him as my mother did on me. I do not want someone to be dependent on me nor do I want to be dependent on someone else.
Prover 15 is watching from above, not being involved.
Prover 16 is not involved too: Doing my work, bitter taste in my mouth, throat closed, it is a bitter story.
Prover 4: Don`t want to be a burden. I don`t want to present a story (so many stories aroused during trituration, I am not going to write them all down, it is just like purification, Chr.) I want to hide. But how can a flower like this hide? Bitter but nice, beautiful and does no harm, not liked by the others. She is embarrassed.
Prover 16 and Prover 15 are distant, Prover 4 has the space to expand.
Prover 4: My parents have never seen me as I am, they have never seen me. Prover 4 tries to draw herself back, but it is not possible, because she wantsā to be mentioned at the same time.
Burning sensation in her labiaās, as she had as a child.
Prover 16 feels drawn back, benumbed, burning throat; nausea, narrow throat. Pressure in head, nausea with ructus.
He has the feeling of being teased, is embarrassed, very sensitive, and wants to please everybody.
This is the national flower of Puerto Rico, it Ģs an emeticum, a cathartic. To disallow one self to be joyful.
Gentleness and serenity suggest me to start to sing.
Prover 4: Donāt dare to give expression to feelings, afraid to be extravagant in expression. Either you hold back, afraid of being indisposed or you are too much exuberant, flooded by feelings, so that infiltrates all around me, like poison. Not having knowledge on measurements. Being unsure about ones own extension of feelings, how to handle with emotions? Overflowing emotions. Afraid to loose control over one Ģs ego! Controlled self-expression; obsessive controlled self-expression; not knowing, how to correctly expand one Ģs own space; cannot define one Ģs emotions.
Prover 16: Bittersweet; where is love? Where is the heart?
When I sat down at the table thoughts came in my mind like: I am an as hole, I take my space.
Prover 15: I don`t take my space, draw myself back to give space to the others, like with my brother in early days; afraid to be less clever than him, lack of power.
Prover 16: feels treated unfairly because Prover 4 has the flower in her hair.
Prover 4: I fear to lose myself in a relationship, but I want to lean on somebody, searching for relation, being part of the other. I accuse the other, not to let me be what I Ģm, but actually this is my problem of demarcation. With my sorrows I suffocate all around me and myself.
I am tired, likely exhausted. We all know the feeling of being less clever than others. But I like you and I am sure you can take care of yourselves that is not my busyness. I can also look after myself very well!
Prover 16: I am satisfied for the moment; I can leave and take my space!
(This remedy provides purification of emotional confusion!! Helps to determine ones emotions according to be settled within oneself. Chr.)
Prover 15 feels good making an interrogation with us.
Prover 16: I was not sure to join the proving, went back and forth with the decision. I was unsure whether it is right or wrong to participate, did not want to commit myself, afraid of it.
Prover 4: Prover 16 snaps on me, I get sick from triturating and feel dizzy. Prover 16 is afraid to expose himself during the evening session, to be ridiculous, so I do. We both have the feeling of a missing space!
Prover 16 doesnāt dare nothing Ģ, no risks, fears critics that make him nervous, tense and aggressive. Fear of not being able to act out. He has the problem to find his place in family. He was heavily criticized by his stepfather. He is afraid to laugh at the wrong situation, to talk, to act. His face is numbed, not vivid, like a mask. He suppresses all expression in his life, because he is unsettled. He is afraid of criticism of others.
Prover 4: I was exposed to be ridicule in the group when I still was very young, that Ģs why I behaved insecure. Some cannot understand my instability, because I express myself very significant. I often tear attraction on others and donāt satisfy their expectations, because I cannot stand the situation.
Prover 16: My mother never wanted to put make up, because she already looks so expressive by nature.
(Also Prover 16 looks expressional by nature, Chr.)