Gagea pratensis
Sense proving, 11-4-2022, Güssing, Austria, Silke Koch, Susanne Diez
Prover Silke
C1 / Silke Koch
Stinging headache left temple from top to bottom, sharp and briefly stinging.
Strong tingling lips and cheeks li>re, throbbing tingling slightly stinging lips and tip of tongue.
I'm tender and hysterical, easily electrified, don't get too close, be careful, be considerate of me! Please.
I am fragile even if I do not seem so
Head pressure in the temples bds, choking pressure in the throat, someone wants to get at me.
Great fear, escape, hiding, hiding in a cave.
In truth I don't need anyone, but I think I need someone, I'm scared.
I am not aggressive, but I live in an aggressive environment, there is danger everywhere, I need to protect myself and I can't do it.
I always look if the air is clear like a shy deer.
I want to be alone and also be in a relationship.
I can't straighten up, I walk around bent over and afraid, always on guard - when will the next attack on me come?
I do not know how I could defend myself.
I hold my fingers spread in front of my face for protection (star!).
I am afraid of everything and everyone.
Alone in the cave I do not feel well, it is so dark and lonely, there is also no security, I do not want to get to know anything new, it is too dangerous for me, I always go the same way there and back.
There is no joy, only fear.
I live in my little world and don't dare to go out.
The fear overwhelms everything, I do not come at all to the thinking, which could interest me still
I don't know how to get out of it either.
There is no anger, only fear.
I am afraid and alone in my little world.
I would like to have someone with me, but can I really trust them? That is too uncertain for me, I prefer to stay alone.
Best I make myself so small and inconspicuous, so that I do not attract attention, then no one can hurt me or attack me.
Inconspicuous wallflower.
I wrap myself up so that no one can really notice me.
Poor I am already so alone, but it is safer so for me.
Hopefully I will never need anyone in my life, hopefully I can always stay independent.
I take good care of myself and my body so that I stay healthy and don't get addicted.
I'll get good food and make sure I don't offend anyone, then no one will offend me.
The more inconspicuous I am, the less I will come into conflict with others.
But I am sad that I am forgotten by others (Maria does not come with the violin), I am not worthy to be looked at.
Self-pity, I am poor, sad, a heap of misery.
I am cold, I have no protection.
I'm forgotten by others, am I even worth being in the world?
I drag, I drag along, the complaints drag along, I drag something along.
I'm so poor, don't help me! What are you so upset about? I don't need or want your help! Please go away and leave me alone, I can't stand your aggressive energies, I can't stand anything really.
Prover Maria
MARIA WITH THE VIOLIN: I can't go forward or backward, I feel paralyzed.
You make it seem worse than it is.
I feel light as a feather, but I can't move.
I'm about to lose my balance.
Always the same, always the same, can't get out, can't go beyond my limits.
Like in a chicken coop, clucking.
Prover Susanne
The earthworm has a deep maw
Why is the condom twisted in a spiral?
Nice shit.
Speedy Gonzales, the fastest mouse in Mexico.
I don't know this language.
C1 / Susanne Diez
I very quickly have the feeling that the little plant does not want to be pulverized - "you are doing violence to me!" - on the other hand, however, it is very quickly pulverized into a homogeneous strongly green-smelling mass.
A girl, maybe 10a, with flying curls and in a bright yellow summer dress runs across a meadow, a man behind her. She is afraid - does he want to rape her? A summer day, flower meadow - she is panicking. A shaggy looking older man, or is he young? It's a nature spirit that's after her. Is he just joking with her, just teasing her, playing with her?
He comes closer, but then hides in a bush, he looks like a root guy, a natural guy.
She stops, gasping, and looks back. He seems less dangerous now, it seems more like a game. She slowly comes closer, cautiously, he starts with little magic tricks, makes flowers disappear and brings them back, conjures colors and makes them disappear again.
She loses her fear - but I'm not quite sure (from the observer role) if it's not just seduction tricks the fellow is playing.
The atmosphere relaxes, becomes light, easy, a bit like in a fairy world. The girl becomes curious, now also has a desire to approach, a little erotic game.
Suddenly he falls on her, she screams, he grabs her impetuously. She feels half pleasure and half fear... then he suddenly lets go of her again, laughs at her - as if he had only made a joke, only wanted to play. She doesn't know what to do, she is torn.
I think with (again from the observer position) they could talk to each other - but the two are completely absorbed in their eye and body play. Half seduction, half aversion and violence, half fear and half lust.
My tongue itches at the edges, I do not know at all.
He is attracted by her youthful innocence, she is fascinated by his dazzling pan-like masculinity.
He says: My golden child.
She: My fairy prince.
He laughs then, he is not a prince and not a fairy.
She: you are the earth spirit.
She becomes very shy now and goes down on her knees in front of him, she now becomes very small and he very big, a Goliath, he takes her in his hands and holds her up, she is like a little child lying in a flower, or like a little girl that daddy carries on his hands, occasionally pushing her up in play and catching her again, giggling laughter, play, the sun shines over the meadow.
Earth Spirit. He grows taller and taller, from the damp meadow his upper body straightens, his lower body is firmly rooted in the earth, up to the middle of his body he is stuck in the earth. The little girl is tiny now, she feels lost - what should she do with this huge hairy figure? He is like a giant orang utan, threatening? No, not really, but she has lost contact with him, can't do anything with him anymore.
She is so tiny... is she younger now? Has she gone back in her life history?
A tiny being alone in the world. She looks around - all the grasses and flowers are bigger than her, but she is not afraid. She is almost like an insect in a chaotic big world that she cannot understand. But she is not a child but a tiny adult in a huge world, overwhelmed?
The insect voices around her also sound strange.
The nose itches, the nasal mucosa burns as if dried out.
The little human does not go further but remains standing as if rooted to the spot. What now?
At this moment Maria comes with the violin, she is in a very strange mood. Yes, I am not going any further, it was the nightingale and not the lark.
Maria says: piston driver, up in the brain I am funny (laugh), screech, scream, what do I not perceive that is also there? all the foreign, the unknown, everything much too much.
The tiny human stands between the high grasses and the infinity of the cosmos falls upon her, was this the male being who wanted to rape the young girl, but had no evil intentions?
She didn't understand, like I don't understand sun and moon, tiny in view of the universe, a very small child in view of the infinite timelessness, in view of this only amazement is possible, play and laughter - the other side would be total despair.
In the devotion to the great infinite and incomprehensible it is a play in lightness - or the catastrophe of being lost.
Picture: the earth spirit holds the tiny human high on his hands.
Prover Jan
Busy with others, too much.
Being under pressure, time pressure.
Headache, frontal, pulsating.
Toothache, left lower, 6th or 7th.
Plant says: “you can all those to me, okay, I give you permission, allow it”.
Others complain about the disturbance you give, the space you take, but give much more disturbance himself, takes much more space.
Headache, band, right a bit more than left.
Tired, desire to lie down.
Friendly, warm person.
Others do all kinds of things with you, against you, and one has to allow that also.
One like to help, but that doesn’t mean is has to take the form of taking with violence, with malformations, but preferably with softness and thankfulness.
4 women, dancing in a circle, with long clothes, with dignity.
Danaides.
Phase 3.
Phase 6.
Stage 7.
Turning, wheel kicking, wheel breaking.
Sighing, better by slowly letting go.
Children, playing, dancing, running, hopping, together, till they suddenly are forced.
Discussion
Unable to face the world, overwhelmed by the world that one not understand.
Half threatening, half play, half desire, half fear. There's nothing to do, except marvel and play in the here and now.
Or retreat and cower in terrible fear, because you can't protect yourself. Better to stay alone, because you trust no one. To care only for what is necessary for survival and every action remains in simple routine.