Case 2.6: Ornithogalum Laila Alberts (from SSC)
Ms R, 62 years old (1991)
Complaint: Fatigue, lower back complaints, neck complaints and tensions, tightness.
Fatigue is the main complaint, has existed since her stay at the Jappenkamp (12th to 16th year). Mrs. has experienced horrors there that she doesn't want to / can't talk about. Often Mrs. still has nightmares about that. She almost died there from dysentery.
Nauseating dull pain in the lower back, radiating to the knees and ventral thighs. Originated in Jappenkamp (12th to 16th year) by the hard work. < Tensions, fatigue, humid cold weather, bending and turning. > warmth. Thighs and buttocks often cold.
Pain suboccipital, radiating to the eyes (around it), feeling of an iron band. Sometimes radiating to the elbows. Nausea + < twisting of the neck. Dizziness +
Palpitations, feeling of a fluttering bird. < Tensions.
Coughing in winter, feeling unable to breathe. < Tensions. Moisture < damp weather, fog, tensions +++
Often abdominal pain in the right abdomen. Def. g.b. flat +, borb. +
Often a vague feeling in the bladder, as if beginning cystitis. > Geranium. History:
Uterus ext. '80 because of flowing, hereafter bladderprolaps.
Dysentery (camp)
Appendectomy.
5x ear surgery (mastoid) Mastitis 4x operation Recurrent otitides.
Madame is married and has 4 children, 3 daughters and 1 son. She is very vulnerable both physically and emotionally. Her husband takes good care of her, carries her on her hands and does everything for her. The children are also very careful with their mother. As soon as she is overloaded, she gets stuffy, or she gets infections, e.g. cystitis, bronchitis, otitis. When the lady has to travel, she always gets anxious, sleeps badly and gets abdominal pain (belly also swells up very much). The lady is very afraid that something will happen to her family, the children will be raised in a very protected way, Mrs. Mrs. had to prevent the children from suffering in any way. She takes over the pain and sorrow of others, and then she gets sick herself. Mrs. also feels guilty that she has survived all the horrors. She has the tendency to be very oblivious, to take care of others, while this is often too heavy for her physically.
Around her a lot is happening, her mother with whom she had an enormous bond died in 1982, after which she took on a large part of the care for her father. Father sometimes confiscated so much that she sometimes felt guilty towards her husband. In '92 her husband was admitted with a detachment of retina. This turned out to be a melanoma, followed by enucleation of the eye. In '93 he died of liver metastases. Suddenly mw had to do everything herself, she couldn't fill in a giro yet. Above expectation she was able to get through it. She surprised everyone and herself the most what she turned out to be able to do. Father's care was only very heavy, since the death of her husband father didn't really want to live anymore.
What is striking during the conversation is that the lady sighs a lot. When she feels understood, she closes her eyes for a moment, with the eyes turning upwards. She is very friendly, will not speak ill of anyone. The consultations always take a lot of time because mw always wants recipes for all kinds of remedies at the last minute, Dormeasan to sleep, simple remedies against nervousness, a lime tablet, etc. Normally I'm not for that but mrs. reacts as disappointed and hurt as I try to get her off that I assume that this will decrease when I've given the right medicine.
In the beginning I regularly gave her Ignatia and Nat-m MK. Mentally she became stronger and stronger but physically it did not do enough. Cystitides didn't have Mrs. anymore, she had bronchitis every now and then 1-2 times a year. The tightness and fatigue also remained. Meanwhile father got a lump on his eyelid which turned out to be a Merkelcel carcinoma. This is a very aggressive tumor which was also not completely removed. Father didn't want to sacrifice his entire eyelid so he left it that way. Within a few months he died. Despite the sadness this was also a liberation for mrs. Finally she dared to go to her daughter in Africa. Also mrs got more and more the need to return to Indonesia to the place where she lived. She also started reading books about the camps she had been in. Little by little I got more information about her youth.
Before travelling, mw still became very anxious and had a painful, thick, bloated belly. May m worked well on this, it also did something on the anxiety (anxiety, abdomen in, distension in, with). On Opium all memories came back in all their intensity, she could hardly handle them. Nat-i helps to cope with part of it, but the fatigue and the pains remain. Also the tightness of the chest could still arise from time to time. Causticum also loosens a lot but doesn't help enough. Ph-ac doesn't do anything about fatigue.
Recognises herself very much in a book she read about the experiences of someone in a Japanese camp. The fatigue and the complaints she has left from it feel like "soul pain". Ms. has absorbed the collective suffering. She became sick of the pains and horrors of others. On this I finally find the means that will give the breakthrough.
After the drug she tells me something more about the past:
Mrs. lived in Tilatjap, the only port on the south coast of Java. Father was a pilot, he had to guide the big ships that were carrying war material through the minefields. He took over the wheel, sailed after the pilot boat and on the high seas he boarded the small boat again. Because the situation became quite tense and it became too dangerous at the harbour, he had his family, Mrs. R with mother and brother housed in the interior. Suddenly they received the message that the pilot boat had walked on a mine and that there were no survivors. Shortly afterwards they were all arrested and put up in a camp, with about 200 families from that town. The transports were terrible, by train that only drove at night. During the day the wagons were in the burning sun. Many people died, packed up in the heat. Later they were transported to a larger camp, later on to an even larger camp. Her brother was separated from them. Mrs. herself was also very afraid of losing her mother. Soon Mrs. became ill, dysentery. Mother didn't allow her to lie down, because if she lay down, she would certainly die. Be nice! (Mrs. still has this that she is afraid to lie down when she is sick). In the camp you were nothing, your life was worth nothing, there was a lot of fun with you. It was important to be as inconspicuous as possible, to make yourself as invisible as possible.
The camp commander was crazy, especially when the moon was full. Sometimes in the middle of the night he let everyone "kumpulan" (schools). They had to line up and bend in long rows. The commander had fake monkeys that were normally attached to the chain. On such a night they were then let loose on the people. People were attacked and torn apart. When the moon washed everyone got all the nerves. Until recently mrs felt very uncomfortable with a full moon, since the means she understands why (this memory came back).
When the sun is very hot, so "stings". mw also has a tendency to panic when she has to wait outside for the bus or is in a traffic jam with the car. In the camp you were always punished and bullied in the burning heat.
The survival strategy of mrs. was to completely close off her emotions.
When the war was over this was not told. Suddenly the camps were open and all the japs were gone. Her father managed to find out where they were and took them out. He turned out to be still on board
of the big ship when the little boat was walking on a mine. Because of this he couldn't go back and had to go with me to Australia.
Still it was very dangerous there because of rebels. When they bought a Chinese shoe they were suddenly put on the street, the man closed everything with an emergency exit and a hurdle came at them with knives. Suddenly they were rescued by a jeep with Brits. They really thought their last hour had come.
Then they were taken to Leiden, where she lived with her grandparents for 3 years before her father also came to the Netherlands. Her father insisted that she go to a normal high school in the Netherlands, mrs. wanted to go to the so-called bridging year where most camp children went to. In high school she was 16 years old when she was between the children of 12-13 years old. Nobody understood her, she was a kind of sight there, "that child from Indonesia". Again she shut herself off completely.
Even now mrs still runs into a lot of misunderstanding. If mrs cancels appointments because she is too tired or is in too much pain, one soon finds her a poser. "You should let go of the past now.
After Ornithogalum:
Distress and coughing less, energy better, mood very good. Dreamed about father that he came to thank her for the good care. She smelled and felt him very real. Still dreaming, too about the camp and the transports but is less upset when she wakes up. Is writing down her life. Can now also say no if she is called upon when she is too tired or just has other plans.
Now you can see very clearly where certain fears and behaviors of her come from, you can deal with it better now and give it a place. Travelling is getting easier and easier, she even went back to one of the camps.