THUJA -Case: "Do you still love me?"
By Mr. C. Dam, homeopathic doctor in Amsterdam
Justin
is a 12 year old, dark haired, skinny but tangy kid who has been suffering from headaches almost every day in recent months. His neck and shoulders are also tense. In the bus and car it is often worse, outside> and lying down>. At night never bother.
His great passion is playing football. He fantasizes about his football career at Ajax. His great idol is Jari Litmanen, other idols are besides Cruyff and Maradonna also: Romario, Bachio ("tough"), Stuichkov and Hadjiv. But he's not only dreaming about football, he's also willing to do anything to become a big soccer player. He has been in soccer for 2 years now, he used to live in Mexico and Los Angeles and there was no soccer there. After soccer, stiff muscles are often a problem.
He used to want to be an actor but his mother thought that was less successful because of the risks of drug addiction in that profession. Later he wanted to become a lawyer but he says: "I don't want to sit at a desk in a room with a tie on and you have to defend really bad people".
Scared of burglars (but his father said if you're not bad they won't come and he believed it). Also afraid of snakes just like his mother.
Dreams
I walk with my mother hand in hand, then let her go and walk further (at this point -
I usually wake myself up because it's a very frightening dream).-
I try to shout or run, but I can't.
I'm on an ice surface and suddenly it's very steep and I can just get on a rope-
hold on; somebody's gonna pull me up again. -
A burglar breaks into our house, he finds me, I'm afraid and say to him: "I'm your friend, I'm working with you, I'm going to steal too" (and in the meantime I try to wake up). I'm in a library and there are snakes everywhere, I try to walk away. When I say to myself: I hope there are no snakes, then there will be snakes. When I say: there are no snakes, then there will be no snakes. Very often fall dreams, then I fall into another dream, I am not afraid while I fall because I know that nothing happens anyway. Loves seafood such as mussels, shrimps, lobster and crab but not fish.
Justin's mother (an American one).
His mother says that Justin is very verbally gifted and good at languages. From an early age he gets a headache when he is upset. That worries her because it is an indication that something is not in harmony.
Five years ago she divorced Justin's father because he was constantly unfaithful and she didn't want the children to see it. Justin's father is Mexican and Justin loves his father. His mother remarried a European and Justin doesn't get along with his second father. And his stepfather didn't get along with him either. His real father doesn't make much of himself and Justin is very sorry about that. "Maybe if I have to go to the hospital and have an operation, maybe I'll hear from my father" he fantasizes. Justin is very fond of his mother but in a possessive way.
He doesn't want me to talk to another man, interrupts me all the time and then is very claiming: Now I have to do this or that..
From his birth on he has been very smart and also received a lot of admiration. And he thrives on admiration.
After the birth of his little brother Andree he was jealous but also very protective towards him. He did blame me for loving his brother more than for him. He can tease his brother very well.
At least 20 times a day he asks: Do you love me? From his birth he followed me everywhere. If I had to go to the toilet, he had to go with me. He had to lie in bed with us or he wouldn't sleep.
He discusses all his dreams with his mother except for the "mother's dream".
He sleeps badly and little.
The dominant feeling during Justin's pregnancy was: an enormous dedication and responsibility: I want this to go really well. I myself come from a dysharmonic family and I wanted to do better now. When I divorced, I also had the feeling that I had failed Justin.
therapy: Thuja 30/200/XM
Follow -up 16 -3 -95
Had the headache a few more times and then not again. Four days after the Thuja the next dream:
*‡0
My cat
had a big tick in his neck and I tried to rip it off.
I pulled the skin with me, it was a terrible sight though it wasn't bleeding. -
I thought, "Oh, God, what have I done?
I've calmed down. I also always found it very annoying when everyone looked at me in the classroom, for example, but now it's no longer that way. Two months after the drug I had less energy while playing soccer (and now I still do).
I am "accepted Jewish"; I actually do that for my grandfather, because that means a lot to him. I am the oldest grandchild in the family. I also feel that this is a bit like my job. And my father comes across as well.
Mother about Justin.
He has grown, more relaxed, there is a light about him, more colour. He came out like a tree, took his stand; he opened his space".
In the beginning, the headache was worse and then it disappeared.
Still very often asks: Do you love me? In the beginning it was even stronger.
After the Thuja "he craved sugar and chocolate for a while".
He also has memories of a previous life in which he was an older man, in America. And his name was Alex.
When I was pregnant, I wanted to call him Alexander, but when I called him that, the fetus started kicking right away. That's why I called him Justin Alexander. During pregnancy he was already more out of the womb and more beside me at the height of my head. I knew he was "male" and what he looked like. I really felt an equality.
–
He was two weeks late and made it to the C-section. He recognized his father immediately after birth and smiled.
Ther. Thuja
Follow -up18 -10 -95
It's okay, more energy to run, no more headaches. Also, his stepfather is much better - "we get along better now, I just accept a lot more and he doesn't tease anymore". Two weeks ago I had a good conversation with him.
Dreams
The cat walked away or died (1 week later actually happened) -
We lost a match by 10 -0 (the next match we also lost with -0).
From the end of August a hardening at the left nipple.
I have seen my father for a day, I think he should see us more often, that is his duty, his responsibility, at least 3 times a year instead of 1x.
Mother:
He can still have a headache every now and then when he is hungry, this disappears as soon as he eats. He sleeps in better.
His question if I still love him hasn't completely disappeared or rather has turned into: "Mommy, are you angry?". I'm not angry, but I may have expressed some disapproval about it. If he asks, he does it with a baby voice.
He seems to have reconciled more with the divorce. Recently he told me that he is afraid to tell his father what he really thinks of us because if he did, his father would get so angry that he would really leave for good. He has never told me this before. He wrote a letter to his father a month ago asking for more contact. He hasn't heard anything yet.
Follow -up:14 -5 -96
Justin is still doing very well, the swelling under the nipple has disappeared. Also doesn't ask if mother is angry anymore.
Analysis
The prescription is mainly based on Justin's dreams. The dream about his mother: He walks hand in hand with her and then she runs away and he can do nothing more. Screaming is not possible, walking is no longer possible. He is panicking.
This dream explains his behaviour towards his mother from an early age. Hanging on her skirts, sleeping in her bed, even if the mother had to go to the bathroom, he still went with her. Always afraid that she would abandon him as in the dream and that he is doomed. But the worst part is: he can't shout or call out to his mother, he can't run to her. –
He can't express his inner despair.
His mother doesn't even realize that he's being left behind (or does she do it on purpose, does she want to get rid of him?). Here we see a few basic themes of Thuja:
1 -‡0
the other
(mother) is your death (by walking away) and the other (mother) is your salvation -
(without a mother you'll die)-
can't express your inner despair.
All 9:
....(in a half dream)..but cannot move a limb, with a sensation that the whole body were as heavy as lead, then she tries to call for help, can utter no sound, and lies with open eyes fully awake and in indescribable anxiety; only after quarter of an hour is she able -
to call out, which ends the attack.-
In the dream about the burglar, the Thuja survival mechanism is beautifully expressed and you pretend to be different from what you feel inside, in this case, messing with the enemy to save the body.
For his grandfather he wants to be accepted as Jewish, but it's important for him (his grandfather) and he's willing to accept it. Centralizing the needs of the other person is a Thuja survival mechanism.
The professional footballer is his "strong" compensation, then he finally comes to the centre.
Different Thuja casuistry with: Do you still love me?
Another Thuja case in which being loved also played a central role, is the case of the 5 year old Anne tomas (11 -9 -89) who comes under treatment on 24 -11 -94 because of growing pains.
He, too, often asks his mother, "Do you think I'm sweet? (especially when she's a little angry). But what happens more often is that he says: "I think you're sweet" but with the clear expectation that mother will say: "I think you're sweet too".
Wasn't an assertive child at school, he let himself be taken away with toys. If moods are good, he is inclined to take care of you. Feeling responsible and worried about his little cousins when they get too close to the water, e.g. Fear of getting off at the bus that his little sister will get trapped between the doors.
Very much wants to be the first, the strongest and the best; assumes that if he participates in a drawing competition he will have won.
He has to be able to make a puzzle that is meant for 8 year olds. With the leg pains that always occur at night, he is restless and wants to be carried.
Sterre has a light variation on the theme: she can always be compared with her sister, who is 5 years older, and then asks in passing: "Who do you like most?" This has been the case for weeks. She also asks Grandpa.
And when you say: "Sterre" she looks at her sister with a look of "you see".
She can also ask: "If someone has to die, then who?"
If she feels good, then she gives everything, then she keeps on going and can't stop anymore, then continues in a trance. But when she doesn't feel well, the thumb goes into her mouth and she gets dreamy. –
She dares
not only to bring a letter to the neighbors, she'll go out three times, but Mommy has to go with her. At school she is insecure and scared, suffers from fear of failure.
Gets a headache after a reprimand. She doesn't like much and always says in advance: No. Without having tasted it first.
Sometimes when she is aware that someone is looking at her, it is as if she is on stage. For example, on the train when I laugh at her, she can say: Elma, what are you laughing at now, do you think that's funny? She feels that I don't know what to do with it, I get a colour. The facial expressions she has, that's not from a 6 year old child. She feels very sure about that (especially when people laugh about it). She is a born actress.
Or she can say (on the train): "Oh, Mom, I am in love, I have seen such a beautiful boy but he is already married; I have such butterflies in my belly. Don't laugh because it's very serious. When she notices that people like it, she plays it on for a while.