THUJA -Case
"I never declare anything myself."
By Yvonne Lassauw, homeopate in Amsterdam
Britt, a black girl from Zambia, of almost 5 years old, comes to consult. She has something friendly girlish with her tiny frizzy tail on top of her head. She was adopted by a Dutch mother who is coming with her. Britt looks at me with her dark eyes and sits down without protest on the chair that I put in front of her, starts drawing as soon as she sees leaf and pens, and does so very sweetly and quietly. She draws very concentrated, puts each cap neatly on the pen before she grabs the next one and puts it back in the folder. She says nothing, and hardly looks up or down. Mother, (a bold, but also very friendly blonde woman), tells about her background: "Britt comes from Zambia, and she is found on the side of the road, wrapped in a cloth. She was lying next to a garbage can and was found and picked up by the police. But no one registered as her parent, and no one in the surrounding villages knew her. Britt was estimated at 8
9 months. But at one point an older man, Britt's grandfather, reported Britt missing. He visited her in the hospital where Britt stayed for so long. Grandpa missed his granddaughter on his return from the interior of Africa, where he had buried his daughter. Grandpa was in total
Been gone for six months. Britt originally turned out to be called Angela, and she was not a
9 months, only 1 1/2 years! Britt's mother was psychotic at times and then hospitalized, until she was 21 she turned out to be normal, but after a severe malaria attack she never really was good again. Father is unknown. Britt's mother also had psychotic seizures during pregnancy for which she was treated with medication (which are unknown).
After a while, in a quiet phase and with full understanding and awareness, the mother signed a waiver from her daughter, and released her for adoption, because she thought it was better for the child and for herself. Britt then first ended up with her aunt (a sister of her mother, who also had a child and who lived with grandma and grandpa). In the end it was the sister who got rid of Britt. Britt's real mother was still in hospital. Grandpa was not there at that time and grandma turned out to be an alcoholic with unpredictable wild showers, which could make her physically aggressive. And according to hearing, she also threw Britt once in a while. After the hospitalization Britt went temporarily to a transit house, then she stayed for six months in a Dutch family where she received good nutrition and care, after which her health visibly improved and she learned to crawl and sit. However, she already had a very wait-and-see attitude towards everyone, except for the children. She slept very badly and restless, in all those months of stay she didn't sleep a single night. She appeared to be very reluctant and dismissive, especially towards women, with men it was easier.
Britt has been drawing imperturbably all this time, every now and then I see how she looks around her for a moment, almost unnoticed, and also what I do. It's striking how long she can be busy with
A drawing. "When the time came for me to see Britt", mother continues, "I had been registered for adoption for a long time, things went well between us right away. –
At one point she sat on my lap with something like: so, here I hear. And also later, when everything had to be officially arranged by the judge etc, she was sitting on my lap like that. When she came to our house, I have 1 daughter of my own, Emma of 7, and 1 adoptive daughter from Morocco, Suraja of 6, she immediately adapted. She really had what you call "hotel behaviour".
What bothers her a lot is air in her belly, it is really thick forward.
In the morning, when getting up, he is normal. "Let's see your big belly", says mother in a cozy tone to Britt, and when Britt, helped by her mother, raises her clothes, I do indeed see from her breastbone, a very hard and big belly, like a drumhead the skin is stretched tightly around it. She can almost poop on command. She will never take the initiative herself. Her stool is thin and watery, it really splashes out. She has never really had any hard droppings.
Her appetite is good, and she arrives well, without getting fat, for a while it has been the case that she was only concentrating on her food at the table, and didn't catch anything of what was said at the table, and she overlooks herself so much, that she vomited it all out again afterwards. Until Mother said, "That's enough," she would stop and there would be no reply. In the meantime, Britt occasionally looks a little secretly at her mother, who says invitingly: "Do you want to go on your lap?", Britt nods right away and sits on her mother's lap.
I ask Britt what she likes to eat, but it's not that easy to just have a chat with her. She doesn't call anything spontaneous, but according to her mother she loves pat.
pasta.
pizza and cheese, and does not like sausage salami. She has trouble with tangerines or chicken, which was always a big gag in her mouth that she didn't seem to be able to get rid of.
I'm still trying something, what she likes to do? And if nothing comes up, I'll give you some examples, and make a little joke. Quietly and judiciously the brown eyes look at me from the moment my mothers shot me. "Do you like everything?", I (deliberately) say, and Britt nods meekly.
"Do you ever dream?", even now Britt nods, but nothing else comes.
Mother tells me that she sometimes had something, at night, as if she was dazed then, she sleeps like a block. The way Britt sits opposite me, silently looking at me, she touches me, and I laugh at her for a moment and somewhere the whole atmosphere of the child comes across, her whole background, everything, and she keeps looking at me in a penetrating way. Her gaze becomes a bit indefinable uncomfortable, as if she doesn't know what to do with that kindness, and she slides a little on my mother's lap. Her eyes are suddenly sad and shiny, as if tears are about to appear, and so is her mother, who talks on, feels it and asks what is going on, and then asks, "Are you sad?" Still looking at me in a damp way, she then says in a somewhat quickly forced, but also sad tone: "Hungry".
"It's okay to ask, if you're hungry, take a banana out of the bag", says mother, and that's what Britt does. According to mother, this is an example of the fact that she doesn't dare to ask for something to eat herself, but she is hungry. (I agree, but inside I can still experience her gaze and all the feeling and pain that happened).
Further
If she has a non-stop cold, she sneezes for 2 days, there's a snot and every 3 weeks it repeats itself. Her hearing was bad, and at night she snored very hard. Her language development is also behind, (mother herself is a speech therapist). At the K.N.O. - doctor it appeared that her ears were really full of shit, but Britt herself hadn't indicated anything.
According to the general practitioner she probably doesn't dare to report pain, but mother's impression is that she can't report pain, especially emotionally. Mother says: "She is now so far that if I would have packed her suitcase and said: "Britt, now you are going to stay with this lady (I) for a weekend, she would have said, I don't like that, Mommy, while before she would have been without it.
..to have given a squeak, to have a good night's sleep and to behave in an exemplary manner."
A rather large nose almond was taken away from her, after which the snoring became much less. But after that the old colds started to play up again every 4 weeks. But she picked up certain words better and also seemed to be able to distinguish sounds better, like walking to the phone when it rings, and not to the doorbell.
When she got tubes at the beginning of March, her sentences became more complicated and she also used articles. She is never really ill, no fever, no teething troubles, she never snouts out, always pulling her nose. She always has wet hands and feet, even cold they feel.
Once they had to throw away sandals because of the stench of her foot sweat.
Britt loves their dog and cat, when it is lying on the couch, she will have a good time with him and be very cozy, but for all animals outside she is afraid. "Oh yes", remembers Mother, she hasn't spoken for the first half year she was with us, and it wasn't until she saw a fish in Artis that she suddenly said: "Mommy, look, a fish!" Britt loves beautiful things, she is very happy with her ring and bracelet and wears it as a "lady". Would also like you to say that she is a beautiful girl. Mother always walks in trousers and she wants dresses. She is also agile at knotting all kinds of scarves around her head in particular, without having seen anyone's, and Surabaya who is also a "lady", tries it in vain. She loves showering, and the hotter the better. She can't swim in the pool for more than half an hour, so she's already chattering. Also in the summer on the beach, she likes to go in the sun, but with clothes on, otherwise she shakes with the cold. Britt likes to be cuddled, but she will never take any initiative herself. With others she evokes something that people want to lift her up. Even with children at school this happens, she once had some trouble taking off her shoes while changing for the gym class and came to the rescue of a girl, but Britt doesn't do anything anymore, remains motionless and willingly lets herself be completely undressed - and dressed. Mother had to talk to the lady about keeping an eye on her because otherwise Britt wouldn't do anything herself.
If you really want to explain something to Britt, she'll pick it up, she's only drawing headbuttons for a while, but if you show that her body doesn't look like that either, she'll try to draw it differently later on.
"Does Britt ever get angry?" I ask. "No, that's very capped. I've never seen it with her before. She may be annoyed, but not really angry, unlike Emma and Suraja.
One time mother was very angry with Surabia and gave her a tap on her pants, and although it was good right after that, Britt came very seriously at mother: "Mama, you shouldn't do that anymore"! –
Sometimes she can be a bit of an adult, when they sit at the table, she can suddenly ask: "Who cooked today?" and then Britt's father says; "I", and Britt says: "You've done that nicely". After Britt's case I continue with the mother's anamnesis and because she has to wait a long time I offer her a rice wafer, which she eats with taste. But when I have to leave and offer her a second one, I hear how she doesn't dare to take it herself and her mother encourages her: "Go ahead, that woman allows you to take another one. "After a while she suddenly starts talking to me about how they got here and she clearly shows me her drawing, with lots of dark blue, those are the outlines of her own hands and fingers, and a small colored doll in the middle.
Analysis
There are a number of things that stand out in this case study. First of all, Britt's background of not having a really safe home, and having given up her mentally unattributable mother. Sometimes mother was good, and then suddenly not at all. And later got rid of them, literally dumped by her aunt at the old garbage, preceded by suspected - ugly neglect and maybe some anger, especially by grandma.
And later on to the hospital, transit house, temporary shelter in the Netherlands and finally a stable and warm nest with these parents and "sisters".
That's what we know about her background, the story so far. And now her reaction to it, her survival mechanism and all that is typical and striking about it. No matter how good Britt may be with these parents, how safe the situation really is, and no matter how good her development goes, for her deeper feelings it is still NOT safe.
When she is hungry for example, she doesn't dare to just ask her (oh so understanding and stimulating mother) or say: I'm hungry, can I eat something? Mother must explicitly ask what is going on and then give her permission. Also later at my rice waffle, she doesn't dare to take a second one, even though I offered it so invitingly.
That's what food is all about. On the other hand, when she sat at the table and ate, she only saw the food and overlooked herself in such a way that everything came out again, there was no brake, and it happened as if in a trance.
Furthermore, she can't poop on her own. You might think: well, then she certainly doesn't have to. But that's not the point is shown by the fact that when mother says: poop but hear, that it almost immediately comes out (as on "command"). Apparently the poop was already "high" and was only waiting for permission: now you are allowed to poop, go ahead, mum is okay with it.
She also doesn't indicate pain, despite the fact that according to the K.N.O. doctor her ears are really full of pain, and mother also has the impression that she can't indicate pain emotionally. The best example of this is that mother says: if I packed her briefcase and said, you go and stay with them now, that she would always do that, without protest, and now a feeling of her own is cautiously starting to manifest itself: mama, I don't like that. Not even yet, no, Mama, I don't want that, or: I don't dare, will you come and pick me up afterwards? or: Mama, I'd rather stay with you. –
And then a child whose suitcase has been packed her whole life and almost randomly given away!
So too with her need for security and safety, she drew with me well at the table, sitting on her own chair, while she would also have liked to sit on her mother's lap, as is evident from the stealthy glances towards mother who then asks: "If you want to sit on your lap, come on, and she sits on it like this, visibly relieved and enjoying her mother's cuddly toy".
She's never been angry, just a little irritated. She does intervene when Mother Surah gives a tap on her pants, and here we see that she can suddenly clearly come up with her own opinion and stand up for Surah, her mother even "ticks on the fingers": "Mommy, you can't do that anymore". But, what is so typical here, it's about an OTHER, and not about herself. Besides, and this is at least as important, she doesn't spontaneously react childlike: by comforting Surabaya for example or asking mother, mother why are you angry with Surabia, or if necessary in fear: No, mama, don't do it!
No, no emotions here on this dangerous terrain. This just must never happen! And she shoots in a small adult hurry to be able to say this, yes, she will stand above it. Besides, it's a very exaggerated reaction, because Surabaya had made it too colourful and only gets a tap on her pants after which it's good again between mum and Surabia, but not for Britt! She is clearly touched by something that makes her SELF upset.
Her charisma towards others strongly evokes a protective (mother) instinct, they want to pick her up, and even the children at school tend to do so, but things get out of hand, because she doesn't just allow herself to be helped with lacing knots, but then all the way, while she is very capable of doing it herself. So much so that the teacher is warned, because otherwise Britt would be picked up like a baby and undressed, etc..
Also she didn't talk, the first half year, until suddenly at Artis, when she was so surprised by the fish: "Mommy, look, a fish!" She appeared to be able to do it, but had just never let herself be heard. That too had stayed inside.
Feeling for beauty and being a "lady" is also clear, and is exactly, like with the caps on the pens, although she can also play with the fact that she just doesn't want to do anything "wrong", and everything just the way it should be.
What means?
So, and now the homeopathic remedy. Are we dealing here with repressed emotions, a sensitive child, and adaptive loving and will she get Staphysagria or Ignatia? Or is she so rejected, alone, lonely and an outcast that Hura is right for her? And what about Carcinosinum, this extremely exemplary child, with a "history of long suppression by the couples" which is also sensitive to beauty and order and so sympathetic to Surabia, what "precocious" in her statements? Not to mention all Magnesiums, with abandoned feelings, and suppressed aggression, but to stand up for the "underdog", of which Mag -mur certainly imposes itself as a possibility. Or is the problem that she can suppress her pain etc. so well, as well as her fears, except for those of strange animals, and is Opium obvious? I myself think that all these drugs can have a certain effect on her, one drug perhaps more or deeper than the other. And maybe Carc. or Tub. is also needed because of the hereditary burden etc. –
But what strikes me about Britt is that she not only suppresses anger in particular, or that the emphasis is on not daring to feel or express pain, or that she "must" be perfect. She clearly has all these sides in her.
Furthermore, she has put away ALL her needs, both emotionally; pain, fear, sadness, the need to sit on her lap, as well as physically (hunger, up to and including pooping), and waits for the other, until she says: Yes, it's allowed now.
And when it comes to eating, pooping and sitting on one's lap, it's quite easy, but when it comes to deeper fears, or deeply hidden emotions, you can't just say: okay, just let it in, and it's there. That would be far too vulnerable, and has been supplanted by a certain numbness of feeling. And this numbness can be seen especially in the sensitive plants, the more sensitive on the one hand, the more numb on the other hand. For example, the section: Painlessness of complaints usually painful: Hell, Opium and Stram. But in this case the sensitive, insensitive is not only on the pain level, but on ALL personal needs that cannot be expressed, that cannot be shown, and that, the more vulnerable and threatening those needs become, are not (or hardly) felt (consciously) either. I found the clearest example of Britt when she sat on her mother's lap, there was eye contact back and forth, and her tears were glowing. That there was something wrong, also mother felt very sharp, even though she couldn't even see her face. To the question: "what is it," and then, "are you sad?" Britt could only say: "Hungry". Of course she was also hungry, but her face, eyes and look surprised that more had been hit, which she hid behind "Hunger". "In this case, 'Hunger' was less threatening to indicate than to shed her tears, or to have had to say 'yes, I am sad'.
The drug that fits this is a drug that can't show his emotions directly, and can't even feel them anymore, let alone express them.
It is not easy to explain the drug very briefly and succinctly, while there is a short and concise core, but with many sides and ramifications, which however can all be traced back to the same core in themselves.
This remedy is Thuja. What does Thuja have to do with "hidden emotions"?
(While writing this, I realize that I am already encountering the "duplicity" of Thuja: hidden in the sense of hiding, hiding, not showing, keeping secret).
And hidden in the sense of: not flowing, not being able to go outside, not being able to be expressed, being locked, stuck, like a blocked toilet, a blocked sink, a blocked sewer. The result is accumulation and therefore congestion.
Expressing emotions, showing them, certainly and especially the vulnerable emotions, requires a situation of a certain safety. In which someone can feel: I may feel what I feel, when I am hungry, I am hungry, when I feel sadness, I feel sad, when I am afraid, I am afraid. But the Thuja person has experienced his situation (in the past) as not safe.
What does safety mean for a Thuja, what kind of safety? As a baby e.g. when he was hungry and roared for food, nobody came, or he had to wait a long time. And in the end he stops roaring. He no longer indicates that he is so hungry, or that he feels alone in bed. And when he's a little taller and hurts himself, they quickly say: "About". Or when he was scared, there was no one who could make him feel safe. Later, when he experiences his first early love, he is laughed at: "oh, that's calf-love, that's about to pass".
–
Thuja is not about one very specific feeling in itself that is not "allowed", as with the minerals that have a much "simpler", unambiguous theme: prohibition of etc (examples of Nat -phos, Calc -brom, Calc -mur, mag -mur, etc) and as long as that is also the theme of what is going on and no more, then that is also the appropriate remedy.
The pitfall with Thuja is, that all these themes can also play, as one of the manifestations -º forms, but with Thuja there is always a "double bottom" that you, inherent in the "hidden state" of the drug sometimes don't even have to see or even suspect, let alone that the patient can come out with it himself. Britt is already a miniature example of the adult Thujas that illustrates this.
(Nevertheless, it is also possible that a Thuja gets completely stuck in a certain aspect, so much so that a sub-problem of him, as it were, will lead a life of his own, then it may sometimes be necessary to give him something for that particular, persistent facet, but then to help him over a threshold and possibly return to Thuja later on).
What Thuja is much more important is that he knows and allows his own emotional life so difficult. Before big misunderstandings arise here, this does not mean that a Thuja could not feel very sensitive, emotional! This is often the case. He can be emotional as Ignatia, sentimental and idealizing as Ant -crudum, hypersensitive as Viola and even dramatic -pathetic, all this sometimes also depends on his original constitution and environment from which he comes.
But even the most closed, yes, even autistic Thuja b.v. can be deeply touched by music, a painting, art, nature, or animals. These are "safe" feelings, you can't get caught on them. But what I mean here is especially those feelings that make him vulnerable and as a result make him feel CLEANABLE of the other.
At Britt we see that she has put a "brake" on practically all her needs and feelings that she fears a "no" on. In other words, it's not the "no" to the particular need that she fears the most, so suppose Mother would say: no Britt, I don't have any food for you now, but only later when we get home. That is so far. That is not the original trauma.
No, Britt fears: if I come up for my own needs now, you won't like me anymore, you find me difficult, naughty or whatever. And then you want to get rid of me (as always happened before). Britt fears a "no" to herself!
In order to survive, Britt is always busy with: "I must now fully, 100% focus on what is and is not "allowed" here, and I must always hear it (that I may eat, may poop etc) to be reassured and FIND to know that I am not making a mistake in that!
And now, slowly but surely, we are coming to the specifics of Thuja, and in the case of Britt: it depends on the situation in which she finds herself, what exactly is allowed and what is not.
This doesn't mean that someone who doesn't adapt can't be a Thuja, there are also Thujas who do exactly the opposite of what they think they're expected to do: the more recalcitrant types.
The polarity of the drug comes to the fore, as with anac. it also has in the extreme contradictions of angel -devil, holy -a -social.
And these too come from one and the same ground feeling. Precisely out of resistance against (also feared) adaptation and therefore fear of loss of autonomy. This way they are the only ones who can enter a place without a tie where everyone wears it, or they can sit down demonstratively in a neat group of people sitting upright. But not because they are themselves, and feel that need at that moment, but as a kind of resistance to it. This side of Thuja will be discussed in the corresponding cases and this with other "means of resistance", like sepia, caust, ammoniums etc. By the way, all these extreme extremes can occur in one and the same person.
Either quickly alternating; home sister, outdoors so, or in stages, a year "tame", and then suddenly plunging into another dimension when they run into it. This also shows the strong influence of Thuja.
But now back to Britt, who fully adapts, and when death is that she has to go, if she does show her needs and feelings. For suppose, she lets her feelings and needs run free, then she also depends on who can or can't fulfill her needs. And then in Thuja, and here in Britt, there is a very deep fear that the person on whom she depends, to whom she has "surrendered", will drop her. And let her fall THEN HOUSE if she needs one. This can look very much like the magnesiums, as far as this aspect is concerned. But there is a big difference with Thuja. A magnesium (taken as a whole), of course, has enormous fear of being abandoned, suppresses his feelings, and can't allow his needs anymore, especially when it comes to his need for love. But magnesium also has the feeling to be an orphan. There is no one left. He is alone. Without a parent who loves him, protects him. Thujah can have the same feelings of no one but what is the difference with magnesium? Magnesium got this feeling mainly because there was no one there anymore. When a parent drops out or dies, he is alone. And completeness - º½, Thuja can also get very upset and suffer an enormous trauma because his parent dies, but that's not the core! (as every drug is sensitive to this in its own way, and it evokes its own piece in everyone's mind). Because, what it evokes in Thuja is his Thuja -state! And how does Thuja ERVAILE it? Does Thuja especially feel like an orphan? Maybe he calls himself that, compares himself to it because he will see his boundless loneliness recognized in it, but that's not what it's all about in essence. The worst, most unbearable thing for Thuja is to feel that he is alone, while there is someone there. That he does know and feel that there is a mother, but that he does not hear there. He may not belong to his OWN mother. The most OWN contact, that is not there, should not be. And that's why he's going to close himself off for the most peculiar thing in himself.
Follow-up
More than 1 week after Thuja 30 K Britt appears to have peed her pants 5 times, during the day, and when mother lifted her up at the end of the day from her bike seat, her seat turned out to be wet. But Britt had already peed her pants that morning and hadn't told anyone, as was shown by questions from mother. This is what she has done before. She had one nightmare, and - for the first time - ran to her mother's bed in panic: there was a big spider in her bed. Together they went to look in full light and there was no spider to be seen, after which Britt slept in again.
The next day, however, she joked about it herself: I'm just going to sleep tonight, there's no spider in my bed at all. Last night I was only joking.
In that period they also ate a dish with chicken cubes and Britt, who always had a hard time getting rid of it, now said: "Mommy, I just don't like chicken".
She had also fallen once when she had hurt herself, and mother thought it was unbelievable what happened this time: "Normally when Britt has hurt herself, I can hear her crying from afar, but the closer she gets to me, the less and once I'm with her, then it all stops. Now, for the first time in 2 1/2 years, she came running towards me, sighing, and even said in big tears: "Mommy, I hurt myself so much!" I didn't know what I heard and saw, I asked her, do you want a kiss on it? "Yeah, a kiss!" Furthermore, she is more alert in her remarks, and spicier towards others.
More than 5 weeks later Britt hasn't had a cold anymore, but she still has some watery runny nose. 1 week ago she suddenly started to sneeze. The sneeze is now productive, a lot of thick yellow stuff comes out and can blow for the first time. She also described her ears for the first time: "Mommy, I hear a beep". 2 weeks ago she had chickenpox, it started with a few blisters, after that she had 39.3 fever and lay on the couch. She had another dream about a spider, and looked with light on, she was less scared now than last time. After 5 days the fever was gone, just like the result. It is the first illness she is going through now. At school almost everyone had already had it, but not her. Before the chickenpox came Britt said: "Mommy, I want to be sick sometimes". And when she was sick, she also said to everyone: "I have the chickenpox!" She says many more things herself: "I don't like that", also to other children.
She'd better take the initiative herself instead of crying helplessly and let it depend on me. The other day we walked on the street and her lace was loose, and she just said that to me! Normally she would start crying and I was supposed to say: what is it then? And I should also see that it was her lace and say, "Is it your lace?" To which she would say "yes". Even though I often said: "Britt, you can try to say that it's your shoestring".
Her belly is still swollen and you can see it getting thicker and thicker during the day. In the evening she empties, in terms of winds, explosively. She takes more initiative to poop herself. She doesn't say anymore: "I'm going to the bathroom", she just goes now. Previously she said: I'm going to the toilet and then you saw her waiting until I said: "okay, go on", or: "give them my regards on the toilet". She now takes much more time for it. She literally has more rest in her hole.
How are her sweaty hands? Oh, I'd almost forget, she said the other day when she was holding something in her hand: "Mommy, I have a sweaty hand". When I walk with her hand in hand her hands are much less wet, before I had to wipe my hand regularly by the sweat. Her feet are also drier, which is especially noticeable on the shoes.
Whatever she does, since a long time is that she sleeps in a dot position again, with her ass raised, like a very bundled package, and after an hour or so, you could see that she was lying (st)stretched out again.
–
COMMENT FOLLOW -UP:
What we see is that Britt's complaints improve: her cold is better, things come loose, her sneeze becomes productive. She has had chicken pox and a fever that has disappeared since then. She is spicier, more alert Her sweaty hands and feet are a lot better. She can poop more quietly. And also emotionally she becomes more assertive and can better indicate her own needs.
But now about her "trial": What exactly do we see happening to all her needs and feelings that are coming back? When it comes to food, we see that she can easily indicate that she doesn't like chicken. Also when we go out and poop on her own we now see that she doesn't have to wait for the other person to give her permission. And, how subtle things can be. There's nothing more normal to say between my mouth and my lips: I'm going to the bathroom. But what made it so typical, is that Britt did announce it, but then she doesn't go! She keeps waiting for permission, or a remark that confirms her decision. As far as pain is concerned, we see a very positive change, she can now not only cry as her mother approaches, but even express it: Mommy, I have such pain! And it goes even further, she also endures comfort! "Kiss on it?" "Yeah, kiss." But, would you say, she could cry on the street if her lace was loose? That's right, but that's a powerless crying, only because she can't indicate what's going on, only in the hope that mother asks - and says herself - what's going on, only then could she say "yes". She does not feel any pain, and is not vulnerable in that respect. Crying at that moment is not a direct expression of an inner pain or vulnerability.
And what emotion had we not seen at all in the case study? Fear. And we see that it comes forward very strongly, in a nightmare about a spider, in her own bed of all places, after which she runs to her mother. No less typical, however, is her remark the next day: "I was only joking, there was no spider at all". Yes, yes, and we have to believe that for sure! It's a very special joke, but Britt has no choice but to deny it, she pretends it wasn't there, in fact, she almost makes the opposite of it. Just saying "I'm not afraid" is still too weak. The more threatening the emotion in question, the harder it has to be denied or hidden. During the day she is less anxious to be herself and at night the fear comes out, as well as when she was ill with chicken pox, another spider appeared, but now she was less panicked.
And then her being sick! The whole class had had chicken pox, but not Britt, and how unbelievable her own spontaneous statement: "I want to be sick too sometimes". As if she allows herself this vulnerability now, and doesn't always have to be strong and healthy. And even when she's sick, she tells everyone that.
Finally, her sleeping position is still remarkable, because she rolls herself up like a spherical package just like before (self-protection/closure?), only now she can stretch out after an hour (surrender?).