Syntrichia ruralis
Proving: sense proving, 7-4-2018, Rottenburg.
Prover 1
I tell Prover 2 my two dreams of last night.
First dream: I shall help to unite two young people. There families oppose due to disagreements in their generation. While I ask about the kind of trauma, a female figure shows up, in rose colour, wearing a mask (“persona”) like in a Greek drama. She represents the wounded femininity. The mask’s expression is being offended, mortified, insulted. I ask:”Are you ready to experience healing?” Then the faces cheer up.
While I touch the moss with the back of my fingers, again and again, caressing it, it feels like touching the hair of a mons pubis.
Second dream: Brigitte Bardot, former icon of femininity, looks enormously fat, like having 150 or 200 kg. She cannot move, just lie in her bed. When she tries to sit up, her uterus prolapse, which she pushes back with her hands, right and left alternately. The curtains are shut, it is rather dark in the room. With me and BB a third person is in the room, her nurse. I serve breakfast. A bad smell fills the room. What happened? “Hurt femininity, in childhood.”
Talk between Prover 1 and Prover 2:
It’s about the first time someone could touch your genitals. Yes – no – yes - no/maybe/I don’t know/yes, but …
While caressing the moss, it opens in two parts, like a V, reminding me of a vulva.
Prover 2 sees us like Hobbits being together in harmony, sees us two in their small world, in “Auenland”, it is so nice and peaceful that you never want to leave. Everything’s fine. But underneath, there is something …
Prover 2 says., this moss is “super-sweet”, “enchanting” (old expression), “from a former world”, “romantic”, “light”.
Innocence, cosy, warm, nice.
If femininity is hurt at this early age it can feel like normal. It happens before you developed a need for it. You don’t know it differently. It was not painful, not rape-like, there is no violence or threat. It is more like voyeurism, like watching children posing or in bath suits.
Nevertheless, the sense of sexuality which develops after such an experience will never be yours. It will always follow the sexual desire of someone else, of the other one.
It might show up not until years later, hard to trace back, hard to remember.
Something has begun weird and could grow up to a serious problem.
Maybe for women who never had an orgasm?
(About the two dreams: The first one shows, that the unresolved trauma of wounded femininity can inflict problems even in future generations. The second one shows a possible effect of wounded femininity: becoming fat and ugly, smelly and alone, to avoid contact which would result in re-experiencing the trauma.
Prover 2
The Shire, hobbits, cosy everything is fine, biscuits, tea a fire burns in the oven.
Good mood in society - agreement.
Want to maintain this state, everything is fine the way it is (P4).
Prover 1: It's about a relationship which is not allowed.
There is a conflict with the parents generation.
Dream 1, Prover 1: Pink Mask... Greek Mask...Persona.. Allow healing?
Dream 2: Birgitte Bardot with 200 kg, can only lie, when she is rising her uterus falls out, she has to bring it back with her hands. A nurse and Franz are present - unbearable stench.
To pet the VenushĂĽgel, charm, childlike innocence.
Injured femininity.
Tentative touch, yes or no..
Doctor games, first everything is fine (image Auenland) and then something happens - that will or can not be articulated - it's the secret.
Child sexuality, sexual abuse in children - without violence and threat.
The nice uncle, child pornography, rather in the direction of nude photos or children in underwear, for example in a catalogue - do nothing, only watching - voyeur, diaper sex.
Sexuality that could never develop, because it is and was t always he sexuality of the others.
Analysis
Moss: children
Phase 4: maintain this state, everything is fine.
Phase 6: diaper sex; sexual abuse, without violence and threat
Stage 2:
Remedy code: 3-332.46.02.