Spheniscus humboldti
Clade: Phase 3, Phase 6.
Essence
They want to belong to the group, but easily feel excluded. The feel they must to everything right otherwise will be excluded. An when excluded they think there is something wrong with them, that they have done something wrong. As they are shy they easily can become an outcast who is bullied and ridiculed.
In love affairs they are very romantic, like a dreamer. They can get an intensive romantic infatuation for a girl, obsession by an unattainable woman or girl who is not attainable. It is like a love addiction, a crazy love, thinking about her in desperation for years.
Themes
Freedom, restrictions, balance, stillness, anger, rage, especially against restriction, humiliation, underestimation, resignation and paralysis, view of others, self-denigration, thrown out of the group, excluded, marginalised and keeping away from others.
Mind
Aversion: restriction, superiors.
Feels unsafe, unlikeable, laughed at, humiliated, seen as a child, not accepted.
Feels unloved as a child, alone, outcast, pushed aside, thrown out, excluded from the group, life.
Wants to belong to a gang, special group.
Separates from everyone, the fear he does something wrong and that is why he is excluded.
Desire to do something special, extraordinary, taking on serious and unexpected challenges to get attention of others.
Stressed out from sudden events, excited and unhappy.
Rage, anger, smouldering, cruel, vicious, evil, torturing, killing, terror, < from injustice, self-piteous, at all people for no reason.
Shame, < terrible attacks of anger, being obnoxious to people he likes.
Thinks their is something wrong with them, they have done something wrong.
Mother creepy, not loving, never cuddling, cannot tolerate her smell.
Disconnected from life, the world.
Feels all was taken away, the soul, the heart, their life, their soul, their rights.
Feels not receiving their rights even though they do everything to deserve it.
Jealous, obsessed, hates.
High sexual fantasies, violent sexual fantasies.
Closed.
Mistrust and paranoia.
Teasing others, creeps around them, around their house.
Feels being squeezed, encircled.
Hides in small spaces, he feels safe there, when excited.
Gentle soul, sensitive, caring, wants to be included.
Aversion to give, when given enough, everything from them.
Shrink to be invisible, when threatened.
State of deep inner stillness, as of meditation.
Surrender, accept the situation.
Worse from pain, dental treatment.
Anticipation, stress, anxiety, leading to indisposition.
Loves water, swimming, lakes, the sea; animals, dogs.
Fears dark, butterflies, flying things around him.
Fears anaconda, afraid of going to get squeezed.
Hates life; hatred of others, self-hatred; self-humiliation, never saw himself as part of the group.
Brooding, academic, calm.
Wants peace, quietness, likes singing, humming.
Sensitive to noise, grating sound, it invades him, making him malicious and nasty.
Dreams: recurrent; big piece of shit on top of a stick and it is going to fall on me; threatened.
Dream: watched doing something by a big group of people, feels humiliated.
Dream: a man in a casket under wraps and father warns to close the casket, the man, inside tells it is fine when they wrap him, he does not mind.
Dream: sailing at sea, me and my father getting off the boat and a shark got me.
General
Physical: > exercising, > swimming
Weather: > cold moist air; > near water, sea, > cold weather; < dry weather.
Time: > winter.
Desire: meat, fat, rich food, bread and butter, potatoes, starch; dairy.
Aversion: vegetables, cow milk, tomatoes, pickles.
Food: < cow milk, < ice-cream, causing diarrhoea.
Sleep: like a log, very deep sleep; waking from slightest noise.
Body
Eyes: eyesight problems, tunnel vision, glaucoma, disturbed perception of distance.
Lungs: asthma, sudden; whooping cough.
Rectum: constipation, < winter, hard stool.
Male: undescended testicles.
Female: pregnancy, first 3 months very sick; labour induced, usually 2 weeks late; baby big, swallowed meconium, mother does not put on much weight.
Limbs: heavy, cold; trembling; legs, feet itching, mainly right side; pain in big toe; hot feet mainly at night, must uncover or put into cold water.
Skin: eczema - annually.