Byrsonima crassifolia
(Hans telling:) lovely flowers; three branches; yellow and orange, and one between, parents and children? Very soon family scene started. Yellow blossoms have 5 petals, orange ones have 4. Group of 4? Of 5? Colours were a topic; M. was the Mama, F. the Papa, C. the youngest daughter. I. the older sister, H. their brother. Parents very structured; mother caring, but not much feeling, so was F. as the father. Sisters had issues. Not real fight, their were sensitive sisters, complaining being unseen, accusing each other, offending and offended, neglected, not seen, etc. Parents not emotionally involved; I. felt being a scapegoat, so did C., who felt not being part of the family; grief started. Finally, the sisters embraced and this part was solved.
M. and F. did not feel emotional connection to their children.
When F. saw Vanda's T-Shirt: “Pain is temporary, glory is forever”, he said, for him it was the other way round. What this pain was about, came out, when F. asked, where this everlasting pain could come from. M. argued, it was about having lost a child. This trauma had closed the parents up. How can we get out of it? Very deep eye contact between M. and F., they put both their grief in one bowl, felt each other, finally embraced, cried (a lot). Just the beginning of healing. Feeling each other's grief, then feeling the own one.
Then able to value each other, a keyword of this proving.
C3: Everyone told his story connected to not being valued in a family, and each story was valued. This helped to overcome the grief.
644.22. stage? Probably 8
Main theme recognition, worth, value, led to three embracings; feeling behind was not getting recognition. Not demanding, so more phase 2 than 6. Orphan cheerful in order to belong. Parents connect by getting children, lose connection by losing a child. Not really in contact, separated by pain.
Always stayed supporting, 22, more likely than 6.
Stage? Probably on the left side, we tried to get it. How did we handle the problem? Fought for it, hard, was very difficult.
Phases and stages are often seen more quickly than the series during provings. Series are not felt so much, feelings point to ph, sph and st.