3.1.3 Natrium fluoratum
Dream: I am in a cosy typically Dutch sort of village where I meet a servant girl. She is wearing a low cut dress with ruffles and I feel drawn to look at her breasts [Fluor]. Later on she comes up to my (?) room. I tell her I want to see her breasts and she says that she would like to be tied up [Natrium]. When she undresses she turns out to be half woman, half man [Fluor]. I want to walk away but instead I go up to her quickly [Fluor], push the ‘manly’ part aside and have sex with her. I immediately feel guilty and I suddenly realise I am at home and that my wife might come in any minute so I quickly get rid of the girl.
The next day I took Natrium fluoratum C200. That night I feel very passionate and my sexual experience is very intense, with much fore- and after play and a deep feeling of love.
The day after that I took a dose of C1000. I went to Amsterdam to do some business, but I got side tracked to a street cafe and I had sexual fantasies [Fluor] with thoughts of erotic clothes and bondage [Natrium] about everyone who passed by. I am totally absorbed by this for about 2-3 hours and I only drink a couple of beers. I meet a colleague who also happens to be in town and who talks to me about ‘Homoeopaths without Frontiers’ (which is a very apt description for my state at this moment!). He says he is going to buy himself a little present. Everything seems quite bizarre.
That same night I have another dream: I have taken my wife to an all-night cafe. We are drinking quite a lot [Fluor]. I feel a bit absent-minded. My wife is paying for the drinks and she asks for a receipt for every round she pays for. Every round cost 100 guilders I notice [Fluor]. When we leave she stumbles down some steps and doesn’t get up. I examine her ankle which is completely limp, I can twist it around to all sides without any resistance [Fluor]. We take a taxi but there is some confusion about her red leather coat and handbag, as if the taxi driver had stolen them [Fluor]. We can’t solve the problem and decide to walk home. The church tower shows that it is 3 in the morning. We are followed by two girls and I feel that I am flirting with them.
Second dream: A child has been murdered in our house. Everyone knows that our neighbour has done it and that it has something to do with incest [Natrium fluoratum]. She has been stabbed. Suddenly I realise that I might be the murderer myself and I run downstairs with blood dripping from my hand, which I wipe on the white bathroom walls. It is an awful realisation which I immediately ban from my mind again [Fluor] coming back to the belief that my neighbour has done it.
Third dream: I feel very irritable about some children who are talking loudly. I think of punishing them by stabbing their legs with a fork.
My wife’s experience after Natrium fluoratum C200 under her pillow:
First dream: This is about a family member who has died and who has snakes coming out of his mouth. I don’t feel anything. Afterwards everything is consumed [Stage 15 or 17] by flames. It was very beautiful (normally I am very afraid of fire).
Second dream: Something had happened to the children. One of them was lost. Eventually I found the child covered in needles like a pin cushion. It made me think of incest [Natrium fluoratum]. Also a feeling as if people stayed away because they felt irritated by my little son.
Dream: I wake up because I hear my daughters voice (who proved to be asleep). It feels as if I have to make a choice, but I can’t. I feel all the time ‘I can either go left or right’.
Dream: about olive green circles.
Dream: I am going somewhere but I have chosen the wrong time. There is a funeral but nobody is showing any emotion. All the colours are muted. The coffin is being carried along a pier towards the sea [Stage 17]. The body has to (?) be dropped into the sea. When the coffin was opened up I thought: ’This woman has died of leukemia at the age of 37’. She had very thin hair.
Next day: I feel very lethargic, much quieter than usual.
Another of my own dreams: I am in a public toilet and there are girls standing in front of the urinal. When they see me they giggle, quickly do up their flies and walk out. Transsexual behaviour [Fluor] again.