10.3 Xylocarpus granatum
Trituration proving, 15-03-2011, Lamu
Provers: Prover 1, Prover 7, Prover 14
Fruit part, small coconut with the surface of a chestnut, six lobes in it (or 8?), it is hard and capsulated.
Prover 14 is nauseous, has a heavy head, pressure in abdomen, ears obstructed, pressure in liver region, anxious.
Prover 1 doesn’t want to feel or hear, almost fainting.
Uneasy, fiddling with her leg.
Triturating with a lot of energy.
Prover 14 sees people with knives and chopping movements, it is not clear how precisely.
Prover 7 has tension rising when triturating, it builds in his upper body as if his chest becomes big and there’s a lot of is in build up in his arms. His lower body is not involved. Deep sighing is if he is pumping himself up. He feels that he want to strike with his arms but that’s impossible because of the trituration.
Prover 7 gets the idea of karate, as if he wants to beat a piece of wood in two with his hand. Then it becomes clear that he has to kill people, butcher them with a machete as wild people, with big strikes.
Somewhere deep in the woods he has to kill someone, butcher him.
He is an assassin who can fulfil his task ruthlessly, even when he doesn’t know what the victim has done wrong, who he is. He just did his job without any feeling and get good payment for it.
Then Prover 7 comes to peace, but he keeps alert, the view of an eagle, seeing everything, keep an eye on everything like a bodyguard. He gets a lot of time to wait for a new mission.
At home scenes take place between his two daughters. Prover 14, the eldest daughter, feels uneasy but can handle the situation, had found a means to tolerate Prover 7. She even has a kind of admiration for Prover 7, her father, could handle his violence and understand him.
Prover 1, the younger daughter, is afraid, but also playful and naive, trying to make jokes out of it, even being rebellious against her father. She doesn't understand how ruthless her father is, trying to confront him and looking for protection behind her sister. Prover 7 feels that she cannot continue that behavior, otherwise the consequences would be disastrous. Prover 7 shows her to stop, non verbally, with samples eyes. It works, she changes diametrically and goes to sit on the lap of Prover 14.
Prover 7 walks back and forth to give space to his daughters and to let them realize that he is the only one who is the boss and everything has to give way. Prover 7 sits right of Prover 14, who is the mediator, she goes with his power game. She has a central role, is like a replacement for an absent mother, who has died or is invisible.
Prover 1 considered to seduce Prover 7. Prover 14 discouraged this. She feels she has been sexually abused by Prover 7. She has compromised herself to Prover 7, to keep things going. At the same time she feels in contradiction with herself, feels lack of love, but at the same time admiration and respect for Prover 7, as a kind of Oedipus complex. She feels much understanding for criminals, as long as they don't touch little children.
It is a very explosive situation, very suffocating for all. Everyone feels not at ease. There is no room for attention, a conversation or exchange. Prover 7 is walking back and forth in this very tense situation.
Then the sisters deliberate to kill Prover 7.
Prover 14 was able and prepared to kill Prover 7 and then commit suicide.
But Prover 1 doesn't want that and Prover 14 couldn't leave Prover 1, let alone kill her.
Prover 14 realizes something has to happen to end the rude suppression and lack of love. Prover 14 feels very responsible for everything and feels she can create a breakthrough.
She challenges Prover 7 to fight with her, physically. They start pushing and tearing each other, throwing each other to the ground. Prover 7 falls and cannot rise anymore, feels wounded but not death. The others bend over him, worried and go lying on him in despair. Prover 7 thinks they will kill him, feels he has to ask them to suffocate him with a cushion. But the refuse. Prover 7 begs them to do it, as an act of love, as a beautiful solution.
Then the feeling turns. Prover 7 feels the bodies of the others and feels love, as if after a long time. He has suddenly repentance, realizes as by magic his maliciousness.
C3
The atmosphere is relaxed, completely. They discuss how to handle the future.
Prover 1 got the idea to leave the island and start over at new somewhere else, away from the suffocating atmosphere.
Prover 7 feels religious, changed from atheist into a deep religious person. This solved his problem, it gives him a new position in society. they talk about the Deepest Secrets, existing more often than thought, disappearing in the graves. They talk about secrets like incest, drinking a beer.
They feel impressed by the strong emotions of the proving, the situation they experienced, that seemed to have no solution, but which came by the persistence and courage to stay with the feelings, how difficult they may be.
They philosophy about the world.
Prover 14 stresses the value of real attention, the importance to see in the depth who someone really is. They realize how important to see the love in each other and oneself. It is about integrating your own hatred.
As long as you only see hatred in the other there will always be war.
Music: Heal the World, Dancing Queen.
Prover 7 has recurrent sharp stitches in the 2nd toe, a small wound from the slipper.