5.2 Bruguiera gymnorhiza
trituration proving: 14-3-2011, Lamu
Provers: Prover 1, Prover 15, Prover 17.
C1
Naked roots.
I was very attracted to the tree the first time I saw it. Prover 1 was standing alone with the tree. She really felt OK, although in groups she always wants to be with others.
Then Prover 17 joined her. But that was just 2 persons.
Prover 10 told her that he would join that group, but this did not feel good for Prover 1. She was afraid that he would be going all the time to the other groups.
Then Prover 15 joined. This felt OK: "I come because I thought it would be good to have three persons in this group, not letting them alone", Prover 15 explained.
We were standing with the tree very long and Prover 15 cut a little piece of the bark. We really were shocked. The tree was hurt, it bled. It was very red coloured. The old wounds of former cuts looked like female and male genitals, open and naked.
Prover 15 also took a very long time in digging the roots. Could not find the end of the root
Then we walked to the trituration room. As we wanted to start, Prover 15 went swimming. Left them alone.
Prover 17 was looking for a place to sit.
Prover 1 was so shocked. Another group, those who had the red mangrove to triturate wanted to sit in the same space. One came to our table, and interfered and told us off, something about our samples. She or he said. āThis root is from the red mangrove, you canāt use itā (it was the one piece, Prover 15 had tried to dig out). So we took it away.
Prover 1 started to scream and cry. The other group had to leave, which they did.
She could not stand it. It was very good that they left. She needed space.
It was so heavy.
Was it resistance? One, own space? Too close?
She felt dizzy.
She was working very hard.
Prover 10 came and was asking what she felt.
The theme of mother came up.
The feeling of being alone, not being a mother myself, feeling abandoned by my mother. Some of Rizophoraceae and I think Burguiera gymnorrhiza are viviparous which means life bearing, so the seeds are alive, like an embryo, I think, and than they fall down, lose their mother and also the mother losing her child, left alone without a child. Left alone.
Then Prover 17 is leaving us.
Prover 17: I need to be alone, separate.
I am just good alone, Prover 17 says.
Prover 15 feels solid, he can stand it.
He feels really strong, capable.
Prover 17 is scratching, still on her one, alone.
It is not hard to do. The colour is a bit red.
Prover 17 did not like Prover 1 talking. After 6 minutes she joined us again.
Now she is OK.
Prover 15 is going to triturate. He feels very grounded, capable, the same like before. Pioneer comes to his mind. Very quite. There can come a storm, a flood, all is fine. Prover 17 is sitting like praying, holding hands together.
Prover 1 sits with crossed legs, which she never does. Prover 15 wants to find out the meaning and goes sitting apart. Go deeper digging, (DD. Lapis Lazuli, digging fruitlessly, Peter Turminello ?) inside. He did the same when we were at the tree. Digging for the roots, of the problem?, deeper and deeper. Headache.
Like the female flower, holding her fruit. Holding her embryo? One way, one direction, do my duty.
Prover 17 relaxes holding her hands praying. Prover 15 feels very grounded, his soles of his foots are very grounded. His head is a bit heavy, Prover 1 is also.
Prover 1 turn:
It is easy to turn, I have to pay attention, want to feel it.
Strong, on our table, root things.
Hands holding each other.
My Space: starting alone by the tree, look not alone, no proving alone, cramps in the hand.
(clinging to the ground, like the mangrove on the shore, their branches become roots and on the end like spread fingers ?).
Prover 17ās turn:
Stiff neck, has to stretch her neck. She moves the chair a bit behind. She needs space. Sheās struggling with the turning. Wants to be alone to have her own space.
You have space around. The milk sugar is going out. Being alone. My space.
Time, maybe I am abandoned to the tide.
Prover 1 gets stomach pain.
Prover 15 is relaxed. We do our work.
Prover 15 and Prover 1 are relaxed.
Prover 15 looks like a colonial, with his whiskey, cigar, is very relaxed.
Prover 17 is not feeling the slave, just occupied.
Prover 15 starts the 2nd round.
In the beginning we were doing our own thing. Now we feel a group, with everybody their own space.
A lot of Stage 16/17 may be comes from the Chlorum from Nat-m or Aqua marina (an Ocean of Tears, Margueritre Pelt, Wad Stories II).
Prover 17 was finding a place for herself. Prover 15 had no problem at all.
The timing is very perfect! Very good feeling: comes by itself.
The mangrove gets the water with the high tide.
Prover 15 came back from swimming when we had to start the proving.
Now Prover 15 comes with the root, which we had put apart (probably from the red mangrove). Prover 1 and Prover 17 felt very bad with it, coming so close, pointing at them, like insulted. Now we are sure, that this root is from the red mangrove, but grew in between the roots of the black, did not respect its bounderies and space.
It does not feel comfortable. Black & Red mangrove fighting for their space.
C2
Prover 1:
Very soft feeling.
What is space?
Loneliness, abandons, I donāt need you, I can do it alone.
Not ? the share.
Space with people.
Space: loneliness, Iām very strong, donāt need you.
Respect: do not?
Not respecting our space; like the other group do not respect.
Prover 1 needs space, anger??.
Mangroves move to find their own space.
Dug a lot.
Dig the problem, the theme.
Loneliness: I donāt want to do it alone.
Join us. Who stays with???.
Prover 17 was the first in the red mangrove group and than was excluded out of this group.
The bark was very red, like a wound.
The fruits fall in the water in the right time.
Prover 15 has a bit of a heavy head.
Alone (Prover 1 toilet, Prover 15 drinking)
Prover 17 felt helpless.
We were talking about sailing, the sea.
Prover 1 does not feel very much responsibility.
We start talking about other things.
We are a bit lost. The straightness is gone.
We have "problemsā with time.
Black Mangrove: BLACK OUT.
The bark is black, Prover 15 is uninterested, not grounded, dizzy, lazy. If it takes longer, okay. You are responsible for your time. Lazy and uninterested. Stoic. He did not want to finish.
Prover 1 starts triturating:
I just have a relaxed way, no responsibility at all. Stoic doing, going on. I donāt care. Just living, being not responsible for anything, lazy, tired, stoic.
Red ones, entering my energy.
Just flow like the seed in the glass??
Waiting, waiting for the next flood.
Stoic, quick, stable.
Special spirit in the mangrove woods.
Works somehow by itself.
Prover 17: responsibility again.
Song? cycling around.
Wrong direction, where ever you go it is OK.
Wound: how and why do they need wounds.
You get hurt, wounded with a knife.
Wounds, wounded, ?? me me".
Prover 17 stuck to the wound.
Prover 1 does not realise the topic wounds, as if she separated, distracted herself from it. Prover 17 realized this and put it again straight forward.
Prover 1 suddenly realized wounds and was deeply impacted from it ??
Wounds on the tree, nobody wants to be heard.
Against deep wounds.
Sexuality ??
Cervix cancer, did not get children, hurt physically and emotionally.
Heal the wound.
Many of abandonments.
Canāt get power, not being a woman.
Cut out cervix, intimate wound ??
I thought it wouldnāt trigger me again or that much any more.
It is there always and the emotion but now I feel the double side of the wound.
Cutting the cervix, cutting being a mother, so I stay alone, not being a mother. Important part of the remedy I think?
Mother, child, connection.
Iām not a good woman because Iām not becoming a mother.
But I can travel and have the space because I have no children.
Pain in the cervix.
Cervix is the bottom part of the balloon.
Woman = cervix.
Men = circumcision, intimate wounds ??
Woman = clitoris circumcision.
The wound was so present when we cut of the bark and also we saw the blood of the tree and all the wounds.
Prover 15 thought the wounds and the cuts were caused from doing it for fun, not for medical reasons.
Talking about rape and penetration.
Seeds falling from the tree and penetrates mother earth.
C3
Prover 1
Vaccination, penetration, cervix cancer.
My own space.
Wounds, Amputation.
Vaccination, Rape.
Cervix cancer, Operation, Des daughters.
Penis, Penetration.
Center? in this wounds.
Intimate wounds, like cervix cancer.
Cicumcision woman clitoris.
Extradite to these circumstances, operations, rape, circumcision.
Penetrate the problem.
Digging, deep into the problem.
Man doing to woman (this cervix operations Prover 17 said).
Without respect, what I feel.
Black; Black out.
Fear.
Feeling: I can do it alone.
Standing by the tree and feel that it is okay.
If I want I can chose to ask for help and if no one is there I can do it alone or chose also not.
In case I need help I deeply feel it is okay. I can ask.
Black out from intimacy wounds, wounds bring upon in a black out. (bringing up, to feel intimate wounds, they where covered by black, black outs, distraction, separation).
Black versus white.
Bad versus good.
Dark versus light.
Rape versus respect.
Yin versus yang.
Male versus female (like the fruits).
Not to dig to deep in his feeling.
Black out keeps us away from real feeling, the problem and the solution is to feel the feeling.
The plant brings you to your deepest wounds, maybe hiding by BLACK, BLACK OUTS; it is the trauma, separated parts of your self out of trauma; distraction, shock to feel your deepest feelings.
After that you feel freedom, your own space and solitary and I can do it alone.
Deaf: do not hear.
Death: black.
Death deep wound, leading to BLACK, BLACK OUTS.
Death of a child: the worst thing that can happen and you cut your feelings off.
War: many people.
When you are the last you are more in danger: extradited; that is why abandoned is so horrible because of this threat?
Do not go alone into the mangroves!
The mangroves protect the island, so they protect you! Two sides of one coin?
I was with Prover 17 in the mangroves with kayaks, I felt not free, narrowed, oppressed and you can easily loose your way, get lost in these forests/jungle and do not have a chance for overview what I always like to have. Maybe a mother theme, overprotecting or tell you all the time what you have to do; it could be easily his one stuff.
Somehow killing fields come to his mind when I see all this dark, black roots, like bones of dead humans. Vietnam jungle war???
The white mangrove never stands with the red and the black or yellow ones, she stands more solitary, in the deeper water, must have stronger, deeper roots, have much more a light quality, the others are more heavy. (The blue stuff is from Prover 15).
Prover 17: I felt, opposite to Prover 15, protected in the mangroves and its shadows. I was not afraid not to find the way out, There must always be a way out, I felt, but Prover 15 did not want to go that further or deep! I liked the reflection of the trees in the water, I liked the still, silent water surface!