Thulium oxydatum

15.9 Thulium oxydatum case
Width 4, Depth 4, Cure 8, Duration 5

A man of 50 years of age feels depressed. He’s doing a lot for others and has done for many years. It feels for him as if he has to redeem a debt to the world. He often feels evil, a bad person, because he has personal desires. It’s due to his upbringing. His father was hard and strict. Discussions were impossible. His father regularly beat him on his buttocks, laying him over his knee, or dragged him by his ears. He frequently grabbed him by the neck with a squeezing grip, that he couldn't wriggle out of and that made him feel paralyzed. His father also told him to be more altruistic instead of egotistic. When he was stubborn, his father would call him “smart ass” ("stubborn little shit guy"). His mother would tease him when he was heartbroken. His mother, brothers and sisters would then stand around him, singing and teasing. He would feel humiliated and had the desire to shrink into nothingness. In those situations, his vision would get distorted; objects and persons could become very big or small, or he could feel very small and distances would be enormous.
After the age of about six he lost his liveliness. He retired into himself. This also had to do with school, where monks imposed a strict discipline, beating the children on their fingers with large sticks when they did something wrong, like not sitting with their arms crossed in front of them. School was boring.
He’s very sensitive to criticism. It can make him retreat or get into a violent rage. Mostly he feels tense and bad. Achievement in work can ameliorate it. The tensions are relieved by alcohol and cannabis, so he uses them frequently. He works as a therapist and is spiritually inclined.

Neck pain, tension, < writing, < doing work that's not good enough.
Liver pain, piercing, cutting, < alcohol.
Weather: -> sun, -> heat, <- grey weather.
Desire: meat, alcohol, cannabis, fruit.
Aversion: bland food.

Analysis
The feeling that he is a bad person is typical of Thulium. He feels evil because he feels he is an egoist. This indicates Oxygen. Combined it gives Thulium oxydatum.
What's typical is the feeling of having to redeem a debt to the world. Debt is an Oxygen theme. But it’s not related just to somebody, but rather to the whole world. This is the theme of the Lanthanides: of being the savior, like Heracles having to free humanity from the various terrors.

Confirmations
Lanthanides: therapist, spiritual interest, school boring, alcohol, -> cannabis.

Follow up
One month after Thulium oxydatum he feels much better. He doesn't feel like a bad person anymore. His tension has diminished about half. He produces more because he's working with less tension. His desire for meat is gone. The desires for alcohol and cannabis have diminished. 4 months later the changes have become settled. He feels OK.